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Like is a strong word. Let’s say she’s used to you.
men are discouraged from approaching women and women dont want to show their interest in clear way. How have we not gone extinct yet?
Because the internet isn’t real life and plenty of people know how to talk to people, including those of the opposite sex.
We compensate with ✨horny✨
We are on the way. sex and relationship rates are massively declining for Gen Z.
I have four newphews 16-20. they have all dated. all but one of them has already sworn off dating because they think it’s total bullshit and they thought it was miserable and no fun to have a girlfriend, for the very same reasons, I also am frustrated with dating and relationships in my 40s. It’s insane. It took me 30+ years of dating to get fed up, they were fed up in 1-2 years.
And all of us agree the issue is women’s expectations they get from social media. My 17 year old nephew broke up with his gf because he got her flowers and she complained they were not $200+ that he was a ‘low effort’ boyfriend and all her friends dog-piled in group chat and agreed. He’s 17 and he makes 15 bikes an hour part time…
Like why would any sane person want to subject themselves to group harassment from multiple women for the ‘sin’ of not being able to buy her absurdly expensive flowers? In my situation, I take women out on $100-200 dinner takes and get told that I’m a ‘loser’ for not taking her out to a $1000 restaurant on our 3rd date. It’s INSANE.
None of that happened 10 years ago. If I took a woman out to a $100 restaurant 10 years ago she was STOKED. Now the refrain on the news is ‘men are not good enough for women and women are giving up’. Without acknowledging the changes in women’s expectations for men due to their addiction to social media and constant consumption of ‘lifestyle’ influences.
All anyone blames is the manosphere… and how evil that is. But really it’s both sexes that are swept up in these toxic sexist expectations that are making both of them miserable and lonely and unable to connect with other people.
Damn.
15 bikes an hour is really fucking impressive, no what what kind of bikes.
Right, depending on the margins, he could probably make good money selling those bikes.
Brother, if you think this is a one-way thing, you are profoundly mistaken
sorry, do men dog pile on their friends girlfriends for not buying them nice enough gifts? or not giving him enough blowjobs?
I’ve never had another guy comment on my relationship with my girlfriend. and I’ve never commented on theirs. only thing I ever experience was some bitter virgin types guy telling me how good i have it that I have ever had sex or get female attention at all.
Please, do not go down this road. Are you really going to argue that our society does not put unrealistic expectations on women?
Hint all you want, the decent among us will still be terrified of looking creepy. Just tell us!
The bear thing scared a lot of decent guys off.
What most women don’t get is that men like assertive women.
Some men don’t. Just like some women don’t like assertive men.
People generally, like other assertive people who are clear about what they want. I don’t have any issue with a woman giving me a clear rejection. But I really hate the fake ‘rejections’ they give me most of the time that leave the door open or the bullshit double-standard where they reject me and then expect me to ‘try harder’ to win them over because ‘men need to chase me’. or whatever horse pucky they believe.
During college I got asked out by a few women as a man and I appreciate the initiative!
Be it woman or man, asking someone out is never easy because you’ll make yourself vulnerable to rejection. So ask friendly and politely for a meeting in a safe space like a cafe and make it easy for the other person to decline and save their face if they have no interest. The other way around, turn others down with respect to their effort of making themselves vulnerable (‘I am flattered by your offer but I have other plans for that evening’ or something).
I have asked out a few women and got rejected some times. But with the ones who said yes I have spent years of great relationships, some of which even have turned into friendships. And I got to spend years with girls who I thought were way out of my league. But it turns out we’re all just people and they were also happy that someone asked them out!
Not all of the dating world is hostile and there are still women and men out there with a good heart. Don’t try too hard, get yourself out there in clubs or sports and go to parties occasionally. I have never used a dating platform and yet I had the pleasure to spend quality time with many wonderful people.
In an ideal society, we would just go and ask the person we adore out, no matter what gender or social framing we have. And even if the person asking you out is definitely not your type, don’t let them feel bad - make them feel good about asking, boost their confidence.
Why are women even taught/expected to behave like sneaky spies when it comes to romance? “Ok, time to do my personal hair signal that I’m interested and want him to approach”
Being clear about your desire also means that rejection is clear, and that hurts.
The girl in the OP isn’t happy with being ignored tho
she won’t be happy if she gets what she wants either.
unhappy people invent reasons to be unhappy, no matter what happens, good or bad.
This is a selfmade problem, don’t try to pin it on anyone but women.
plausible deniability. if you don’t actually try, you can’t actually be rejected.
This is a selfmade problem, don’t try to pin it on anyone but women.
From that girl’s perspective, it seems that she feels rejected, just not explicitly
We can, we just don’t want to reveal our telepathic abilities. Shhhhh
Oh my yes. I do ask, subtley, if they can read minds. And on the off chance they say yes, I take a hot minute to push the meat “clear browser history” before we progress any further – just in case.
This makes me think of a conversation between my wife and daughter a while back.
Daughter is angry with her BF and frustrated that he seems oblivious to that
Wife: “Oh honey, no. It doesn’t work like that. If I’m mad at your dad for something I just have to tell him. If he asks if I’m OK and I say, ‘I’m fine’, he takes that at face value. He’s very literal.”
Daughter: “Ugh. Doesn’t that frustrate you?”
Wife: “It was weird at first but once you get used to it it’s actually really nice. You just have to learn to talk to him.”
Me: “Wait, I did something right?”
Wife: “You do lots of things right babe.”
Yeah, I think she likes me.
Yeah communication is key. Even if you are too literal at least you are clear and not obscuring your thoughts.
Aside from a lot of guys being thickheaded and not seeing it, there’s also selection bias.
A) A girl has a crush on a guy. He notices but plays it safe. Maybe she’s just friendly. Result: no harm done except perpetuating the myth that guys don’t notice.
B) A girl is just friendly but the guy thinks he’s being crushed on and acts on it. Now he’s forever labeled as a creep.
The only safe play as a guy is always, always assuming she’s just being friendly. Unless she comes right out and says she wants to hump your bones, just assume she’s being nice to you.
Pascal’s Wager but for pussy
She’s Canadian.
Quadruple the caution if it’s a coworker. Hello HR violation.
To quote Amos Burton, “I don’t shit where I eat”
Don’t, “butter your bread where you earn it.”
if romance is a type of shit to you then i’m sorry for all your relationships
It’s always good to play it safe unless evidence is so overwhelming that she’s into you. This has cost me some romantic opportunities but has also kept me from being the guy who dates all his female friends.
Thanks for lining it out so well.
There’s a good shot that she’s into me, but if she’s not, I’ll either die of embarrassment or I’ll get bullied by their whole social circle.
Add to this that men usually are not as socially comfortable as women, and you kinda understand it why this happens.
This happens to women too. The embarrasement is real and the societal pressure to not be seen as a slut is everpresent. Playing it safe is a popular strategy no matter the gender.
It’s 2026. Are people still that puritanical that they care about somebody else’s sexual activity?
The places I’ve lived in the last 15 years have been extremely sex positive, which was a slight shift in mindsets from where I grew up, which was slowly coming this way.
Is there a sudden resurgence in this behavior? Is it part of the man-o-sphere bullshit?
yes. most people are incredibly puritanical. including ‘sex positive’ people. most self-proclaimed ‘sex positive’ people i knew are the ones who judged people the most for their sexual habits. anytime i have hung out with sex positive people i have been shamed by them for being a slut, or being a prude. i’m a man and i’ve had women reject me for my partner count many times for being too much or too little.
it’s not a resurgence, it’s always been there. it will always be there. people don’t like people who are different than them. it makes feel feel bad and insecure and they blame you for it rather than question their own feelings.
Oh yeah most definitely.
I just wrote this because these memes are rampant and funny, but they do make light of a bad circumstance on our society. And that trope usually targets men, so here’s some context.
Y’know I’m glad I am aromantic, emotionally insular, and paranoid as fuck. Makes my dumbass not even have to factor this shit together, was she flirting with me quickly turns into I don’t care. Though I will say having sex would probably be nice, but I’m also hypersexual and autistic so it’s almost guaranteed id probably fuck it up and go too far.
Are you me?
When women can’t communicate and frustrate themselves.
I have dated women who expect me to read their minds and think if I am not Professor X I don’t care about them.
One breakup the reason was “I shouldn’t have to ask you for anything, you should already know what I want before I want it. That is what love is!”
Then I asked her if she does that for me and she made a face and said “No, you’re a man you don’t deserve that.”
That was my wife for the last 20 years… The divorce is almost final (almost as in we’ve both signed off, it’s been sent to the court (Friday afternoon) we’re just waiting to hear back…). Yeah, she cheated on me. Yeah, it was a surprise. Yeah, she blamed me for not paying enough attention to her.
yep, the woman i quoted above, also was cheating.
she also told me it ‘wasn’t her fault’ that she was 175K in debt and that it was my job to help her back it back…
That sounds like a bullet dodged honestly.
You deserve someone to love you in a way that includes showing it by doing little things to make your life easier/better/more comfortable.
I don’t meet anyone like that. So I stay single. I was just on a date last week with a woman who made it clear it was my job to serve her, and my ‘reward’ was her company and I should never ask anything of her… this is the most common attitude I get these days. Along with a lot of ‘equal respectful partnership is slavery for the woman’ nonsense.
As a dude in my 20s, actively trying to find some random 20 year old woman to date for a long term relationship is such a bad decision. I’ve stopped trying to date people (for now) because it’s just so draining as a man to have to deal with all the expectations and stereotypes placed on us.
my teenage nephews feel exactly the same way. they are completely cynical about romance due to the ridiculous and hypocritical BS that their potential dates put on them. and they have only had 1 girlfriend for a few months. It took me 30 years dozens of girlfriends and 100s of dates to get to that point!
something something equal rights
We typically have no idea unless explicitly told, no.
Even then, maybe she’s just nice. Or canadian
I knew a nice Canadian that had a crush on me once. I still messed it up.
Damn, I got here too late, I wanted to make this reference too!
i don’t click the link but i know which video it is
Edit: Is she into you? - Casually Explained
Yeah, see, my girlfriend just right out told me. But we’re both AuADHD. So you know, things happen impulsively and directly.
I asked her on a date, she said yes. We get to the date we have fun, we have a long night out, she goes home and texts me “I like you.”
Yep. Which is a good thing too because I liked her and was a lot nervous about that.
God damn that’s the dream. This chick at the store smiles at me a lot and giggles when I’m nearby. I like hearing her laugh and seeing her smile and don’t want things to get awkward, so I’m not saying anything :/
just ask her out.
she will say yes or no. anything that isn’t ‘yes!’ is a no.
The problem with doing something like that is it can make the situation awkward permanently afterwards
it’s already permanently awkward
Aw yeah. There was this beauty at the store that, in hindsight, obviously gave me the eye, repeatedly. I wanted to ask her to a coffee the next time, but then she already wasn’t around anymore. Don’t be too late.
Just give her your phone number.
Even if we’re explicitly told the first twenty times we’ll just think she’s being nice.
If you want to know why men with basic decency are so oblivious, head on over to the womens stuff community and see how many posts boil down to “all men are rapists”. I’m friends with several real life women, and most of them hold that same opinion and have damn good reasons for it (“Except you glitch, you’re one of the good ones”). More than one have expressed to me that they hate being straight because they’ve never dated a man who hasn’t taken advantage of them.
So yeah, I’m not making a move on a lady, well mostly because I’m gay, but even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t unless she explicitly asked for it. (I’d also have to run it by my boyfriend, and ask if she wanted a threesome with us, but that’s another topic.)
head on over to the womens stuff community and see how many posts boil down to “all men are rapists”.
basically online feminism is super toxic. don’t take it serious. women in real life are not like that, at least most aren’t.
in fact i even suggest that these people are online because they can’t deal with real life.
Reminds me of an interaction my friend had with a girl that he usually just had casual sex with. She asked him if they could do some rougher stuff, things that definitely would leave a physical mark. He said OK, but ONLY if she wrote up a statement beforehand explaining that this is in fact something she wanted to have done to her.
There isn’t a single iota he could have said or done if she decided after the fact that it wasn’t for her and just reported it to the police. Most decent guys are very cautious about being wrongly accused, as the fallout entails the same thing as actually having violated someone.
I’d say most guys are as afraid of being accused of violence as most women are afraid of being exposed to it.
I’ve dated plenty of women who lecture me about ‘enthusiastic consent’ and condom use and safe sex. but if you try to practice it with them in the bedroom, they call you a pussy and tell you to grow a pair and how they just want you to make them feel like a rape victim. they are often two-faced.
it’s stupid and insane and no well-intention ed person is going to do that. only violent weirdo nutcases are going to want to do that. And plenty of them see nothing wrong with being verbally of physically violent towards men that disappoint them. violence is only bad if it’s done to them, it’s totally OK if they do it to other people, especially men.
A girl told me in 8th grade that she knew I liked her, and was cool with it. I thought she was nice for not being creeped out that I liked her, until one day on college when I finally realized what she meant.
I told a girl who told me she likes me that she is bluffing… 🤦♂️
Well, don’t leave us bros hanging! What did she mean?
That she might be down to clown if the circus is in town, but our boy left her hanging around at the dog pound
!remindme 3years
do we have a remindme here?
!remindme 1 second
She lived in a refrigerator.
That’s cool
A girl in college told me she liked me when we were in high school, took me like two days to realize what she meant…
It’s clear that when they say they liked you in high school, it means that they don’t like you any more, and you blew your one shot. Don’t be a dick and try now, that ship has sailed.
Or it means they’ve had a long term crush on you, and are very interested. Sometimes you get little context.
Good communication is important.
If that were true, they’d say it. Don’t be that creepy guy who thinks a girl likes them just because they’re nice. - What guys believe.
Well don’t leave us hanging! What did she mean?
No man knows what she means.
What did she meant?!
A lot of the time we do know, but we’re terrified of getting it wrong and getting rejected and maybe worse.
One rejection in college had me pegged as a creep to the point many of my own friends stopped talking to me. All I did was ask someone to get some tea once but I guess I didn’t do the mating dance right or something idk.
Was a pretty powerful lesson in seeing how people will believe what they want to believe. I guess it’s the same for many of the “creeps” and “sluts” out there.
I rejected a girl in college and she went around telling everyone she could that I sexually harassed her.
She got her comeuppance and got booted out of school after she did it to other guys too, but it was terrifying for that brief window when people believed her. I’d be eating lunch and random weirdos would come up to me and go ‘I KNOW WHAT YOU DID YOU FUCKING CREEP!’ Very few people supported me, and it was only my few closest friends, and my ex.
And even better, when I share that experience, at least 50% of the people who hear it, still think it is my fault or I’m lying. Because men are all rapists, and women are all hapless victims who never do anything bad or wrong…
after being rejected 100 times in a row for “ew gross i don’t associate disabled people” when after a couple dates i let them see me take a blood pressure pill (hadn’t even let them see any of my massive collection of scars except my arm and face, which i can’t exactly hide without michael jacksoning) you kind of just start making fairly accurate assumptions about the women in your society
Been there. Not blaming women either, men are equally ableist.
Women and men are ableist because society as a whole is ableist.
Hahahahahahahaha hahahahaha.
That’s one of those easy things for me to overshare. I take half a dozen pills daily to function. If they aren’t, or at least don’t know why I take them, it ain’t gonna work.
The actual like, really disabling thing about me isn’t any of the things I’m treated for. It’s my sleep disorder. I still have to show up to my 9-5. My kid still has arrival and pickup times at school. Banks are only open 9-5.
I’ve found that women with treated or untreated disabilities understand this shit way more than normies. That’s not to say go look for them, but don’t try to fit into an ablist mask, that’s far more harmful
don’t try to fit into an ablist mask, that’s far more harmful
it took me so so long to learn that one
Wouldn’t be better to do it on the first date?
there are better ways to vet potential dates
I was at some fast food joint with a buddy and his girlfriend, and after ordering my friend’s girlfriend told me the cashier was so flirting with me.
Me and my friend: What? She was? How so?
Nah I don’t trust it, she was just being nice cuz it’s her job
I used to own a retail shop, and I had one young woman assistant who had a sixth sense about those things. I’d wait on a customer, and after they left, my assistant would say"Wow, she really had the hots for you," and I’d always be like WTF are you talking about?
Your buddies girl was the one flirting with you.
