I hate so say it, but you should grab Michigan and Wisconsin. Much like a girl I used to know: We can fix her, and she has huge lakes that I find appealing. Or something like that.
and then Illinois, or at least Chicago
Huge, COLD, lakes mind you.
Isn’t Wisconsin like a cold version of Alabama?
No, I’m living there now, and the city I’m in feels like a wannabe California (aka liberal, techy, high housing costs, etc)
So a city?
Wisconsin has three major cities with VERY different personalities. One of them is very Portland/silicon valley (in its own Midwest-y way), one is borderline detroit-y, the other is an overgrown suburbia.
Yes, a city in Wisconsin.
Yeah, it sucks. But Look at that map. Those lakes are fairly important. Well either that or do a Robert Evans plan and just nuke them.
They know what they did.
Bump for nuking the so called “Great” lakes
C’mon now, the last thing Cleveland and Buffalo need is radioactive lake effect snow
Thus creating The Great Concavity
What the fuck did you just say?! Are you suggesting that we are inbred? Alabama! Fuck you!
Wississippi
Only state to have (I think) four presidential elections decided by less than 1%.
The states motto is “Forward” and it used to be one of the most progressive states, but it was also the testing ground for the Koch bros media network, that plus the gerrymandering from 2010 really set us back.
You move that gods damned line to include Michigan. Right fucking now.
Nope. Move to a real blue state if you wanna come. MI has betrayed us too many times. We don’t need that in New Canada.
As a Michigander myself I fucking demand this also
You guys decided to vote for the fascist.
So did Minnesota.
It was closer than I’d care to admit, but no.
The map looks awful, but empty land doesn’t vote.
My mistake, thanks
Okay okay. We’ll round up and murder the MAGATs and their moms. Then we can join, right?
Sounds like something a MAGAT would do to own the libs.
Huh?
The entirety of Michigan? Or should the Upper Peninsula stay a part of the US?
/c/CartographyAnarchy is leaking
Michigan is a red state though.
Illinois is the real loser here.
Also: why not give Texas back to Mexico? It’d solve their obsession with “the border problem.”
Because Mexico already has enough problems without having to deal with Texans?
But think of all the oil they could sell to the US!
There are Texans on top of that oil.
They would just move back into the Us. And with the settlers gone, indigenous people may be allowed ot move back.
waves hand minor inconvenience.
Accepting pleas from other comments here, Canada could get away with about this. And if they have the whole Pacific border, I’ll also throw in Hawaii for free.
We should give Texas to Mexico just to spite them
Brilliant.
Having Arizona would be a big L for Canada
You’d have to create a corridor through Southern Idaho and Northern Utah to join the new state of “New Mexirado” with the rest if you removed Arizona… Hard work, but I believe it could be done.
As a New Mexican, I approve either of these options to join Canada
Yeah, but how else do they get Colorado and New Mexico?
Hm. Went with cutting Washington and Oregon in half rather than full take. Pretty bold, but makes some sense.
Theres citylife washington and middle of nowhere washington. Occasionally middle of nowhere washington likes to throw fits in the city to support trump because they have nothing better to do
Though i guess that goes with cali as well. Lots of the non cities in the west coast just really love trump despite reaping all the state benefits that are very non-republican.
Eastern Oregon is already trying to join Idaho anyway
Y’all are going to regret taking Arizona. And, frankly, everything in California not in view of the coast.
I think they’d maybe rather be independent?
I don’t think this is framed as a takeover.
Listen.
MD will take Pennsylvania and bring it into new Canadania as long as we can bring West Virginia with us too.
They’re dumb but they’re our dumbs.
You don’t wan the middle of PA… Maybe if they just turn everything between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh into a weapons testing site? Turn it into “no man’s land” like it was always mean to be.
A couple tweaks: Include Illinois and the eastern part of Pennsylvania. (edit: I see you did get Chicago, maybe just go a bit further south?).
why not Alaska too?
Get Virginia too!
Fuck that bougie ass state. Entirely occupied by weapons contractors. Leave them in New Honkia
I was just hoping to be Canadian.
move to Chicago.
Colorado
You can have islands that belong to countries, why not land locked enclaves! (Yes I under logistics and such)
Plenty of countries have those. There’s even exclaves within enclaves.
What if we just take the empty parts of WY and MT to connect CO?
empty parts of WY and MT
is redundant 😊
The City and the City
You re-elected Boebert.
I’d be willing to leave eastern Colorado behind.
man Colorado is an unfortunate one in this case. =(
On behalf of California, we accept this proposal, and we accept Canada as our new federal government.
I also propose we officially refer to the remainder of the US as “Dumbfuckistan”.
Congratulations you just gave the fundamentalist nutters all the icbm silos.
Yeah, uh, they already have them.
Plus there’s tons in the listed areas?
Naw WA has a few
Why would I want to join Canada??? I don’t do well in the cold smh my head
-Life expectancy will go up from a world ranking of 48th (USA) to 20th (Canada).
-Education will get better from 31st (USA) to 19th (Canada).
-Math scores will improve from 34th (USA) to 9th (Canada).
-Robberies will go down from 98 per 100,000 population to 62.
-Traffic accident deaths will drop from 12.7 per 100,000 to 5.3.
-You will spend half as much on health care yet get better outcomes.
-Poverty in Canada is 1/3 the rate in the USA.
-Although Canada has fewer millionaires, we more fairly distribute wealth (better income equality).
-The minimum wage in Canada is double that in USA.
and most important you will be happier (Canada ranked 15th, USA 23rd in happiness).
(We couldn’t find a politeness index, but thank you for reading)
Imagine how much worse all of those statistics will get once they absorb large chunks of the US!
I can assure you that the vast majority of Canadians are well aware of that fact and totally disinterested in become part of the US or taking on any part thereof.
Americans joining Canada would have to give up their guns and other weapons, compete that training and licensing processes, and if successful would have the revocable and modifiable privilege of owning a very small selection of approved guns. They would have to accept that religious freedom in Canada, which is much higher than in the US, means that you are free to practice your religion in any way you choose as long as it doesn’t effect anyone else’s rights and you are free to have no religion at all. They would have to accept that it is settled law in Canada that a woman’s healthcare decisions are between her and her healthcare provider and none of anyone else’s business. They would have to accept that everyone has the right to marry, has had the right for decades, and that the only thing destroy traditional marriage is traditionally married people. They would have to accept that free speech in Canada does not include racism or hate speech. Most Americans would not fit in in Canada and we are not interested in becoming Americans and giving up the things that make us the best country in the world.
Not really. Canada’s getting all the states that are doing the heavy lifting in those shitty numbers. If not for them, every metric would be worse.
Wouldn’t you get most of the millionaires and billionaires by including California and New York and the stats will start going to the US level or worse?
How are you now ✋
Good and you
Not s’bad
How about prison pop? We making progress there?
Canada is 85 per 100,000 and the US is 146 per 100,000. Canada is a world leader in Corrections. We are focused on rehabilitation and reintegration. That’s why whenever there is a breakdown of a government Correctional Service Canada is on the Nation Building team that the UN sends in to help rebuild. I worked at CSC for 25 years and knew a guy who was on the UN plane that crashed in Kosovo during the Nation Building exercise there.
Why doesn’t everyone move to Canada then?
Because despite what the neo-fascists in the US (and in Alberta and the Conservative party) say it is very difficult to move to Canada. We don’t have open borders.
Is this an unlabeled bad joke that’s too close to what an actual idiot would say in real life?
We are on Lemmy, so it’s mostly still save to assume the first case
I actually liked the joke too
I thought the SMH my head was the label…
That is one of the clearest jokes if I’ve ever seen one
Oh man I’d love to see the civil unrest in the red States when they don’t have us new Yorkers to give them their welfare payments.
Same from the west coast. If only cali oregon and washington could just be a west coast alliance separate from the rest of the problem states.
Is the US losing just about all of the top universities in this “trade”?
Where they’re going they don’t need no universities.
FTFY “Wear their gohing they ain’t ned no skulz”
Losing CA alone would make the US possibly not even a world power. NY and CA gone, the US Would be a thing no one really has a reason to think of talk about. Suddenly all the movies would be about aliens landing on Canada or blowing up Canadian national landmarks.
Texas has a ton of nukes and half the MIC, we’d just create a American Nazi state.
It’s Deathworlders all over again.
Didn’t a group of separatists already try this in the 1800’s?
How did that turn out?
It’s never worked and never will, that’s the whole point of the Civil War. The military wouldn’t just sit back and do nothing, and states that try to leave wouldn’t have a professionally outfitted military. My opinion, if anyone really tried, a few handcuffs would end their attempts.
Nobody’s going to go there after abortion is banned.
Nobody wants their prince or princess saddled with that.
ITT: People pretending that Oregon, Michigan, and probably Washington don’t have a huge population of total fuckos.
Carve a line down the coasts. You don’t want the whole state. And while you’re at it, take the lakes and Chicago
Canada also has its own population of total fucks. We keep them in the prairies. However like those states, it might be leaning more towards wanting that?
Disclaimer: not a source, just an ass on the internet.
So u r a source
An ass source but one we shan’t judge
Yeah, East side of the cascades in OR and WA is extremely conservative. But they are currently hopelessly outnumbered.
It’s the same in BC, east of the Cascades is also extremely conservative while coastal west side is where most of the liberals are. Even a good chunk west of the mountains are pretty conservative, it’s mostly just directly within the Vancouver greater area that’s liberal and then the island.
The Kootenays aren’t conservative either
Mmm particular pockets are very liberal but other pockets can be quite conservative.
We had to accept Oregon in order to draw a line down to California. We sure as FUCK aren’t accepting Idaho.
You don’t have to take states in their entirety, you know. No reason you can’t split them up
How about sky bridges between fortified independent city state enclaves?
I’d take it.
Eastern Washington people have been wanting to separate from Western Washington for a really long time. Western Washington is like “well fuckin do it.” But nobody actually tries to secede because EW’s dependent on WW’s economy.
Exactly. Canada should only take the west half.
So…there’s a correlation between a lack of access to large bodies of water, and support for trump ?
Big cities tend to get build near water and denser populations (exposure to a greater variety of people) tends to make them people less conservative.
The more remote you are, the more likely you are to be isolated in an echo chamber of xenophobia.
Oregon is already trying to redraw their state border with Idaho. Could just do that.
Include Colorado and Hawaii.
We’ll need a tunnel from Denver to LA.
Airplanes. Flyover states will still be flyover states.
Armored trains.
Seriously, why isn’t the Canadian government offering US states to join them? It would be the perfect response to Trumps bullshit.
You want Canada to submit to the US? Hey Oregon, California, and the others, wanna join us instead?
If California leaves the US it would fucking bankrupt the US.
Washington State: “Come on! We’re right there. Are we a joke to you and just here for you to shop?”
On top of other responses, lots of folks are saying the conservatives are coming to power in Canada. Those conservatives would hate upsetting their advantage by contending with what would be an overwhelmingly liberal population.
America has already proven it’s willing to go to war to keep territory, Canada doesn’t want that fight.
We’ve defended ourselves twice from the USA before.
Things were a little different back then
We’ll just put up free guns signs pointing away all the way between our border and the Whitehouse and the path will be clear to burn it down again.
I don’t think it’s a serious comment. It’s a joke to be shot back at Trump since he made comments about taking Canada
Only if there’s oil involved
Because Canadians don’t want it so they wouldn’t be representing our best interests
Australia can come too. THE END!
Edit for the young ones: this is older than YouTube. It was a flash animation which was like a 2d game engine that ran in-game cutscenes in your web browser because that worked on slower internet speeds than video.
can you take Philly too?
