30 something woman here, apparently I masturbate a lot compared to my friends.
I have to say “yeah once a week too” when they raise the subject ,when in fact it is multiple times a day. Husband would also do 2 times a day if he kept to his “normal” cadence. I know “whatever works for me” is right, but I’d like to compare to other people my age that aren’t my friends.
Have you considered that the friends might be insincere about their own frequency too? In many societies masturbation is considered shameful. Even when people admit they do it, they might not want you to think they do it “too much”.
what? I never!
If it does not interfere with your life, then it’s not a problem.
Might be a hot take, but:
- Sex is completely normal and natural.
- Most of the sex addiction discourse is astroturfed by christian fundamentalists.
- Most of the sex addiction stories I’ve read so far is just people wishing their life back before they had those weird urges, that came at a time they’re way too immature for them mentally.
- Unless you’re some variant of asexual, you will have sexual needs. They’re hardwired into you. Please them as long as
- the way of pleasing them won’t harm you,
- it doesn’t violate someone’s consent.
- The “grindset” is toxic, people should work less than 40 hours/week by this point, not 100 hours. The problem isn’t too much time for sex but rather not enough time for it.
Do note: many asexuals also have sexual needs.
Asexuality by default is the absence of physical attraction, but hormones pay a part in many other functions in the body.
Also, because of the culture I’m in unwillingly (thanks puritans who founded this country), it feels really weird to have urges, but never want to have sex in any way.
I believe a person without urges is refered to as alibidoist.
This comment is less for you, and possibly for others like me who misinterpretted the words growing up and think they are somehow different enough to be alone when there are people with all sorts of experiences all over the spectrum.
As much as you want to is normal. Suppressing your libido to fit in is not normal.
It is normal, its just fucked up and unhealthy.
Hey peeps, I’m pretty sure they’re reacting to the SECOND “normal” statement, not the first.
It’s not normal to suppress your libido to fit in.
I think the point is that it shouldn’t be.
It is societally expected in much of the world, however - and the degree to which it’s expected also varies with gender and culture.
Note that I’m saying this as someone who has largely decided to reject societal expectations, and who is a fuckload happier as a result.
I think it varies enough that calling it “normal” is inaccurate.
What you want to be normal and what is actually normal are not the same thing. Regardless of best wishes, it actually is normal in a shocking number of places. Unless you’re referring exclusively to the small social circle you live in, but that’s not really a useful data point for us to discuss, because it’s not what the conversation is actually about.
Why ask when you can invent an outgroup to be mad at?
29 year old woman. A few times a week, on average, I’d say. Potentially multiple times in a day.
When I have a partner, I tend to do it way less though, because I find that the sex is way better if I refrain from masturbating. Orgasms from masturbation aren’t particularly satisfying for me unless I try to do a whole build up that I rarely have the time or energy for.
Worth mentioning that autism makes my general sensory experience pretty weird — I’m hypersensitive to most stimuli, and that also affects touch. This feeds into my above preferences in complex ways.
I also have a few physical disabilities that mean I’m less likely to be able to enjoy sexual pleasure as much unless I’m in the right mindset (i.e. chronic pain can distract from the physical pleasure).
It’s possible that you’re ahead of the curve when it comes to knowing what you like. I had a friend who was capable of reaching orgasm through masturbation, but it took so much effort that she rarely did it. Then she had a partner who helped her to figure out her own idiosyncratic preferences in terms of what she needed to reach orgasm, and that sparked a period where she “felt like a teenage boy” with how often she was masturbating. She was 32 at this point.
I have another friend who didn’t even orgasm until she was 31 due to only having dated guys who were stereotypical straight dudes, which had calibrated her bar of what to expect super low (not just in what she expected from partners, but in terms of what sexual pleasure could feel like in general).
Another friend didn’t masturbate at all until she was 28 (with the exception of some occasional pillow humping that she would feel tremendous shame about) due to religious trauma.
Unfortunately, the society we live in doesn’t really equip women well to be able to come to understand our bodies and communicate our sexual needs. A lot of my friends in their 30s (especially the women) have said that they’re loving their 30s way more than their 20s because of this kind of thing. 30 is still relatively young, so maybe (likely in addition to a naturally higher libido) you just have figured out what you like sooner than your friends have. Maybe some of them are yet to have an awakening of some sort, and the average rate of masturbation will be higher in a few years.
Thanks! Many of my female friends have also said they they started masturbating later than I did, some into their 30s. I am very lucky to have always been able to reach orgasm really easily and quickly and have been genuinely shocked in the past when female friends have talked about difficulty in reaching climax.
40’s female. every day or every other day for me. and sometimes multiple times per day.
i feel that I didn’t really take off until I was in my 30s, honestly. and after then its been like I am now.
but I feel quite normal. so I’m sure its normal for you too, Miss Curator!🙏
From what I gathered, it’s weird if you don’t stop for food, or in public. Other than that it’s more or less normal.
So I go to my doctor and he says, “you know you really need to stop masturbating so much”. I ask, “why, I thought it was a normal habit?” He says, “you need to stop because I can’t clean your teeth like this!”
doctor Clean your teeth Hmmm. Something isn’t adding up for me. I think the joke works much better if it’s your dentist!
When I was a teenager and early 20s, a few times a day, tbh. Holy shit, when I was a teenager, i was so fucking horny, like all the fucking time. then my twenties were the same, my thirties were very very different (next to no libido). these days? Almost never anymore. Just don’t have a libido anymore :/ I am a bit of an old codger though. So maybe that explains it?
personally, 3-4 times a day.
that’s mostly because the world is going to shit and I need that dopamine boost.
Good hit of my weed pen and I’m masterbating for hours, not continuous, when I get off there’s a cool down time where I watch TV and then switch back and resume.
I don’t think “normal” is a helpful frame of mind here. Maybe “healthy” is a better way to see it : does it make you feel good ? Does it feel like a healthy part of your life ? I don’t want to decide for you, but from your other comments it seems like it probably is.
I would call it a problem if it becomes an obsession, if it takes time away from other things you want to do, if you do it so much you hurt yourself… Etc.
30s male - Most days, sometimes multiple times. Lately it’s been a lot. Not sure what that’s about.
Enough to take the edge off, not so often it interfers with your life. The number will be different for every person and different at every stage of life for a person.
I’m pooped if I do it more than once every 2-3 days. Sometimes go for weeks without. Guy btw. But then, we have to reload. Seems fair that people without a reload timeout should masturbate more often.
It doesn’t take 2-3 days to reload normally.
Physically? True. Mentally? I need that long to gather enough horny energy.
I’m in the same boat. For me, I just don’t care that much about orgasms anymore. I tend to masturbate when my horny brain kicks in and I start having distracting thoughts.
Yes. This is my habit as well. I feel weird for the opposite reason as OP as I’m a guy who doesn’t do it daily if not several times a day. I guess I could technically, but do I really have the time and energy for it?
cis man here. I’d say everyone should either have sex or masturbate once a day. but the thought of multiple times a day feels exhausting. if you have the time and are happy with it though, don’t let peer pressure make you feel any bad. actually I’d push against my friends and say once a day confidently. maybe that’s what they’re missing in their lives. act like they’re the crazy ones. like why not?
I’m a guy, but yeah, often several times per day. Occasionally none. I’d say you’re fairly normal.
How do you do several? Doesn’t it hurt after one to especially three times?
If it hurts at all, see a doctor. I’ll sometimes go a day or two not doing it, other times I will three times in a day.
Doesn’t hurt. I just gotta be horny enough.
Good info. I remember years ago and similar post on reddit the /no fap brigade swooped in and kept saying prostate will explode by 30 if you do it that much 🤣.
Is that the new, “If you do it, you’ll go blind”?
not really, maybe if you do multiple days in a row with 5 sessions each
Mf got that kung fu grip
Are you circumcised? That might be why it hurts you? I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt after only one time
I’m not, but sensitivity ramps up significantly to the point of discomfort if I try to continue; “hurt” may not be the most accurate word but it sure feels internal, not, like, just due to a lack of lube or something.
Use oil.
Do you get dry or how do you feel the pain?
It’s not really the stroking, but… wow, I can’t believe I’m having this conversation lol but it’s more like the regrowth after flaccidity (first time typing that word ever) becoming increasingly more difficult each time in terms of sensitivity, unless sufficient time (a day) for “reloading” has first passed.
While I’m at it, I’ve also wondered how many others, uh, continue to leak a bit for each next half-hour. My part down there has almost always done that for whatever reason, which I just presumed was normal.
you should visit a mechanic
I think it averages out to once a day, maybe once and a half.
On weekdays mostly in the evening, sometimes in the morning, some days not at all. On the weekends often twice a day. Sometimes three or even four a day, but that happens only if I’m using toys, just manually it feels a bit raw after two.
32, male, happily single.
That was me during my teenage years.
Now my libido lowered.
I do wonder if yours did too, because if yes, damn, I apparently might have a stat on which I ought to catch up ;-)
