You’re having a rough day. Seems like everybody wants a piece of you and they aren’t kind about it. So you put on some ear protection, grab your leaf blower and step outside. Nobody bothers you out there. The leaf blower yells nonstop the way you wish you could and even though you aren’t doing the yelling, there is still something cathartic about the noise. It creates a bubble where you are left alone. As the minutes pass and the debris collects into neat little piles, you can slowly regain your calm. The urge to explode, unleashing your anger and frustration, in an irreparable way ebbs and you feel like you can hold your shit together for a little while longer.
Or they are in a feud with their neighbors and are trying to piss them off.
I though for sure this would end in the hell in a cell copy pasta.
Or jumper cables.
Haven’t seen that one before.
They’re for connecting to a car battery and a dead car battery to jump start the dead one. Pretty common really.
I walked right into that.
But that’s not important right now
Well, I can make a hat, or a broach, or a pterodactyl!
That one’s not really pasta, it’s rogersimon10:
https://cheezburger.com/7801861/19-times-the-dark-humored-jumper-cables-guy-trolled-reddit
It is home made pasta.
Or homasta, if you will.
What leaf blower allows for neat little piles?
One in the hands of an experienced operator.
Huh…apperently I have natural leaf blower bubble going on.
See, the trick is, other people try to push me around, and try to tske their anger out on me, and I look them dead in their eyes, with my cold dead inside eyes, and I say…
“You could die tomorrow and I wouldn’t even notice that you left”.
See, the trick to life is to not cause hassle for others, but otherwise not give a shit about anyone or anything. To truely become at peace with the idea that none of this matters. Your life, others lives, the elections, the results of things, none of it matters. People don’t matter. Media doesn’t matter. Life doesn’t matter. And once people realize that you are an unfeeling, uncaring, enempathetic to anything miserable piece of shit who wouldn’t feel a thing if an atomic bomb went off, they generally tend to leave you alone. Because you don’t want to piss off the guy who doesn’t feel anything, with nothing left to lose, and nothing to gain. I am the Milton of my universe, and one wrong move could cause me to burn this tinderbox to the ground. Then walk away without remorse.
Help is available. I mean it and I will help you find more help. You don’t deserve to suffer in the way you’ve described.
Sounds like they suffer less than a lot of people. At least they found their center.
Every moment of their lives is filled with hatred, fear, misery and self-loathing though.
It is not possible to make the following statements and have them both be true: “I feel nothing” “I’m miserable”. So it’s clear they are in a world of deep emotional pain and burden, and that simply existing is a form of relentless torture.
Nobody deserves to feel or live that way. There’s nothing “centered” :(
edit: But JOY! It doesn’t need to be that way. I’m living proof that internal change is possible because I used to feel the way that man feels.
There’s a “black hole”, humanity’s beyond the event horizon, and barely anyone even acknowledges the existence of any of it.
But, no matter how hard one tries to sink into the void they cannot deny the human paradigm. Complex communication of the hypothetical us all that defines our species from the other animals. A human’s meaning-of-life is, at the root, the same as everyone else’s.
Above:
Ecclesiastes by King Solomon
“All we need to do is make sure we keep talking” by Stephen Hawking, British Telecom advertisement (1993)
Continuing:
Revolutionary Suicide by Huey P. Newton
Interstellar directed by Christopher Nolan
If any of this resonates with you then I’d be happy to have a conversation. This account should be active until March-ish.
What will happen in March?
Username checks out.
If a genie told me I could erase all land-mines or two-stroke leaf-blowers, I’d choose landmines, but the silence while I considered would be uncomfortably long.
Even electric blowers are extremely loud. I have both varieties, and both require ear protection for extended use.
This comment is magic lol
Well I ain’t gonna get down on my knees and blow them myself
And that’s why I’m leafing you!
Why don’t you make like a tree, and get out of here?
Dammit, this should be the top comment.
No, it should be buried
Under a pile of leaves maybe
The leaves must blow.
Kwisatz Daderach
“they must not be scattered, mess is the mind killer”
One of my neighbours sometimes hoses down her driveway in the pouring rain. Who knows why neighbours do the things they do.
Are they ex military? Are they an ASVAB waiver? Did they used to get told to mop up the rain too?
Probably to hose off sentiment run off
Are those the sentiments that appeared when she ran off?
Yeah we saw one of our neighbors watering the storm drain. But also recently she drove from her driveway to ours - literally got in her car, backed out the driveway then immediate turn into ours, to come ask a question. Then got back in her car, backed out of our driveway and immediate turn into hers. So I think she is just crazy.
I once inquired about this very practice. I’ve been told it’s because:
- Water restrictions are generally lifted when it rains
- Easy rinse/prepped surface
That all make sense to me if these idiots had a pressure washer, but its always a normal hose with a nozzle…
There may be something falling from trees that stains?
This was during the summer. The only thing might be bird poop?
Free pre-soak
I just got a 765cfm battery-powered leaf blower and…
…it’s so much fun. Mindlessly entertaining. I don’t even care if I just blow the leaves back and forth, it’s just…weirdly fun.
Also fun to blow random things around the house until someone gets mad.
You’re welcome to come blow my yard whenever you want some free entertainment. I even have two different leaf blowers you can choose from! One is a two-stroke backpack dealio, and the other is a hand-held electric jobbie.
Also fun to blow random things around the house until someone gets mad.
Hey, this guy knows my ex-wife. tugs collar
Is her number still 867-5309?
My puppy loses his shit when I aim the leaf blower towards him.
Either the boss said he had to do it, our his homelife is so bad, that blowing leaves is an improvement.
I really hate leaf blowers.
I really like turtles
I remember that. LOL.
My neighbor will blow them into my driveway (which is higher than his so it’s a never ending battle) and then he’ll walk between my house and the house on his other side blowing leaves to the other side of the street. He wastes so much gas every day, I would find it funny if it weren’t infuriating. Like, who the heck even buys gas leaf blowers anymore?
who the heck even buys gas leaf blowers anymore
Gas blowers are about half the purchase price. And in this ‘first thing I looked up’ match up, are slightly better speced and higher rated.
I’ll take the one with less maintenance anyway. I wouldn’t even need to buy the battery for this because that’s the same one my lawnmower uses
The issue I have with these is the parts and batteries are awful for recycling. An engine is all metal and once the oil is drained there are no hazardous to nature parts. Plastic is made from oil so are these environmentally friendly? Especially if the batteries only last a few years?
You are overlooking the pollution the emit while running, which is considerable, especially 2-stroke ones. A gas leaf blower used for an hour emits the same air pollution as driving 1,100 miles (source).
And the fact that that oil has to be changed periodically. They also have many plastic parts AND small engines have a notoriously high failure rate when used with ethanol fuels.
Meanwhile, the electric motors in battery ones basically run forever and properly cared for the batteries last many years, after which they can be recycled.
I just get corded electric. Never have to worry about it running out of juice that way. Though, it does mean there are limits to what you can get.
Good thing gas is so cheap…
It is cheaper now than a few years ago.
It’s also more expensive than a few years ago, just depends on how many years ago you mean. Either way, it doesn’t make it more economical than electricity.
Or you can just buy a cheaper one.
Are you in IL? I just saw my neighbor doing that, but he has dementia. I think there are to many people who want a manicured lawn. Personally I don’t see why so many people like that.
if I ever live somewhere with a garden, I’m ripping out the grass and planting a dandelawn.
Or moss!
Moss is cool too!
I’ve got quite a lot of moss in my backyard. The only downside is less traction. My backyard isn’t super hilly, but it’s no where near flat.
I tried making my front lawn all wild flowers. The town had other ideas and sent me a warning to mow my lawn even though at that point my lawn was solid flowers. It is now a mix of dried out grass, sandy bare spots, and cigarette butts from the sidewalk traffic going to the Casino across the street. I tried watering my lawn the first year here and my water bill was nuts.
Because they have absolutely nothing better going on in their life.
For a while I had retired neighbors on two sides of the house who insisted on mowing multiple times a week. Their grass would be so freaking dead and brown by late summer even with watering, meanwhile my lawn which I mow every 2-3 weeks depending on the season (late summer it grows slower so I give it longer) never needed a lick of extra water and is still green today
Petromasculinity?
Good word, I like it
It’s from Cara Daggett :)
I’m petty sure it was on Wikipedia as well, but I can’t seem to find it anymore.
Making noise.
I find this is often the case. People want to make noise because they want other people to notice them or because they have oppositional defiant disorder and like to piss off people.
As it happens, it’s about 10 C (50 F) near me and raining, and I did actually think about using my leaf blower for a very specific purpose: blowing the leaves clear of the road gutters.
I saw outside my window that the autumn leaves formed a dam in the gutter, impounding an amount of water which started diverting onto the asphalt and the sidewalk. From what little I know about road construction, water intrusion is the greater enemy so I didn’t want to let the small pond sit there.
In the end, I just picked the leaves up by hand to remove the obstruction. But if I had a lot more streetfront, leaf blower would be the first tool to come to mind. But it would take no more than 10 minutes total.
Honestly, it’s just fun to blow leaves or snow. It’s a mindless puttering activity that lets you improve your home area and be mildly active.
Unfortunately what happens is people’s general tendency to think about themselves and nobody else. So they’re self-satisfied in their reasons for being out there, not thinking about the dude next door that works nights and can’t sleep, and even his construction-grade noise headphones don’t help. Or the dude that just wants to listen to jazz quietly.
The leaf blower people are well-meaning people with mild mental illness who are just selfish enough not to realize their home/self care is annoying others. e: A lot of times the guy just needs to get the F away from their spouse. I’ve lived near leaf blower people and they’re invariably older married (sometimes retired) men. Never women.
I feel like a rake would be a better alternative on all accounts
Plus, you can leave it in awkward places as a trap!
doinggg!!!
I miss the internet being like this. I like this
A leaf blower is far superior for getting leaves out of corners and other spaces smaller than a rake, especially if the leaves are small or falling apart.
I have an electric one that isn’t that loud, and I generally use it for edges and then rake up the open spaces.
blowing around wet leaves with a leaf blower.
One does not simply blow wet leaves with a leaf blower. It is folly.
I once thought so, but in my experience with maples and fir needles it works really well. Much easier than raking for wet stuff. Of course, the correct way is to wait until all of the leaves have fallen (enjoy Autumn to its fullest) and then round them up once for the whole season. Every week or two is why everyone hates leaf blowers.
Or just leave them. Leaves are good, people. If you can, leave your leaves.
We need to remove them from my driveway because they get slippery and it’s on a hill, but otherwise we try to leave them for the insects and the birds, etc.
Yeah, in the yard, though, not the driveway, that’s all.
Shit, I collect leaves from the neighbors who throw them away. A huge pile of leaves makes the plants very happy.
