When I was sober, I didn’t get it. Now that I’m high, it’s SO obvious!

…I think I may be stupid.

Maaaaaaaaan…this sucks. At one point in the 90s I had played every version of tetris released.

I haven’t kept up, but my inner 8 year old is sad. My inner 8 year old wants to play all the tetris, but my outer 42 year old self is keeping my inner 8 year old away from anything trump related.

My inner 8 year old is sad, but I’ll understand when I grow up…wait, how does this work again?

The microplastics are in your balls.

Unlimited Privacy Elite & Knuckles

I thought it was like 33 BCE, which counted down to 0, which is when Jesus died…and then waited 2000 years to come back as Y2K, but we stopped that from happening by updating all the computers before they caused the apocalypse. So instead we got hats that counted down to another year.

Then a year and 9 months later 9/11 happened. And nobody cared anymore about bearded arabic guys from the middle east. I can’t speak for other countries, but here in America people went full racist mode. Sept 10th 2001, if you asked an average white guy what they thought of arabs, he’d probably just shrug. Sept 12th? He’s calling for death.

So I guess the real question isn’t whether he was born in 33 BCE, or 7 BCE or 0 AD. The real question is "What the fuck are we even doing on this planet, if it’s nothing more then a revolving door or racism? Who’s going to be the next target? Black people? The Irish? Mexicans? Jews? Arabs? The Dutch? Oh who can keep up anymore…It’s all one big pile of “FUCK ALL OF THIS SHIT!!!”

Always another day. Always another group to hate. Never an answer to the question “Why can’t we all just get along on a planet together?”

Can someone just shoot me in the head? This planet’s save file has become corrupt, and I no longer wish to be on this planet.

And how do you think AI is interacted with? On what device?

Thats when they make a pornhub category about you…Help me Batman! I’m stuck in the washing machine!

Upvote for you kind sir.

Can someone explain what is going on??? I keep seeing Dean all over Lemmy, but it makes no sense. It doesn’t help that I live in my own little bubble, and generally have no idea what is going on. Last week Spiderman punched some guy with a white cross??? I never did find out what that was all about.

And now Dean everywhere. Nope. I’m out. If you guys want me onboard with this meme, I’m going yo need context…maybe a little whiskey.

You’re getting upvoted, so I think I’m missing context. Is this a reference to something?

Aka we never have to hear 90% of his deranged ramblings. We’d only hear of the stuff that will actually affect us. Not the dementia riddled slop that comes out of his brain.

Oops. Did I say brain? Sorry, he doesn’t have one. I meant mouth.

Actually, they’re called the Guardians now.

(take that as you will)

Without this line, my mind wouldn’t have even gone there.

Things you can ask about a putt-putt coarse, but not your friends partner.

Ya know? I gotta plead ignorance on this one. I’ve never applied to work for the FBI. So I can’t comment on what the process is like…but never had I once considered the fact that the FBI not only asks on the application, and follows up on a background check who fucks animals.

I don’t ever have thoughts that people fuck animals. 10 years ago when the epstein stuff came out, I was surprised to learn that not only do grown men fuck kids, but it’s also not even that uncommon among the rich.

Now I’m finding out this animal fucking is a big enough problem that it was something they have to look into with applicants.

And even weirder, they have abandoned that barrier to entry.

What the fuck are we even DOING on this planet???

Random time to show Norman Osborn’s lawyer, but ok.

Harambe is just the start. It’s the tip of the iceberg. See, we’re living in a false reality timeline. And it goes back WAAAAAY farther than 2016.

Back to the future, set in 1985, first film came out in 1985. Sets up BTTF 2. Still set in 1985. Written I think in 1983. Shot in 1987. That’s important. Because inntially they wanted to write/shoot/release all 3 movies as 1 movie. So when they wrote BTTF 2, the writing can only attributed to 1983. Do you know what was in the news in 1983? Donald Trump wanted to buy the struggling Cleveland Indians and relocate them to Miami. At the time Miami had no MLB team. That’s important.

In BTTF 2, Set in 1985 and 2015, we see the Miami baseball team lose the World Series to the Chicago Cubs. Again, set in 2015. So that Miami team had no name, because in real life they didn’t exist, but news outlets expected Cleveland to move to Miami long before the movie would be released. And Biff in 2015 is CLEARLY based on 1980s trump. It’s not really trying to hide who Biff really is. Real life, the deal is never signed. Trump never buys the Indians. So the Miami team is a representation of the Cleveland Indians losing the world series to the Chicago Cubs. Filmed in 1987. Gotta remind you of that. Then in real life, 2016 go look at the world series results. One year off. One year. Literal same exact result.

Then there’s the Barenstein bears spelling. I’m at a point where I don’t even know what the right spelling is and which one is the false memory. I spell it Barenstein Bears, but everyone knows what I’m referencing.

Terminator had a woman named Sarah Conner give birth to John Conner. An unborn child who would go on to lead a machine army that destroys the human race. The timeline that John Conner sets off to destroy humans is 2029. Right now in real life Boston Dynamics is in talks with ICE to deliver robot attack dogs. Not that police dogs were ever sympathetic and refused to attack whomever the cops told them to attack, but now cops don’t have to hold any responsibility whatsoever because if a robot attack dog kills someone, ICE can point to AI, and the AI companies can say “You can’t blame us for what they do with our tech”. So nobody is responsible. It’s 2026. That kinda sounds like start of a robot army. And remember the dates and exact details are almost a mirror image of all these plots into real life, but not exact. The Cubs beat the Indians in 2016, not 2015. Nobody knows when the Barenstein Bears switch happened.

Idiocracy is a film in which fascism through stupidity descends upon the country. Again, minor details not lining up, but overall you can look at the film and say "Is this a documentary about a time period that Mike Judge couldn’t have known was on the horizon?

There are more examples throughout history, but you get the idea. Everyone says Harambe was the shift. Everyone thinks that something happened when Harambe died. But think about the story from a realistic standpoint. If Harame happened today, would it even make news? A human child enters a gorilla enclosure. A gorilla gets shot. I’m not defending the killing, but I am saying it’s not the massive story it was made out to be. I’m sure throughout the decades it’s happened before and you never heard of it, because it’s not news. Nothing actually happened. Yet everyone is convinced that it’s a pivotal event in history.

What I’m suggesting is that all of this, has been us on the bad timeline. Somewhere in history someone fucked us all. Someone played with a time travel device. Created a rift which created this false timeline. Then they saw how fucked up shit was, and they left. They went back to the real timeline.

All of this? It’s not the real timeline. We’re an offshoot. We don’t matter. We’re real people, but this isn’t the real timeline. Somewhere out there Bernie Sanders won the 2020 election, trump is in jail, And AOC wins the 2028 election. While Mamdani respects the constitution, so unfortunately he’s not going to become president even in the real timeline, but he’s ok with that. Because if someone in that kind of power could disrespect the constitution, then what other power abuses would they be ok with? Can you imagine having a president who doesn’t think about the American public at all? Can you imagine someone who cares so little that they show up to a presidential debate, with an election looming in 30ish days, and admits they don’t have a plan? They only have concepts of a plan? They would be openly admitting that they intend to completely improvise running the country, with a handful of half thought out ideas. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine the country STILL voting him in? That seems like it would be the dumbest timeline.

And that’s where we are. None of this matters. None of this is real. But for us, we’re stuck here. SOMEONE has been planting hints everywhere throughout history. Here’s one that I’ve never seen anyone talk about. Elon Musk has been for decades funding SpaceX. His grand plan is to leave earth and live elsewhere.

HOW???

How the fuck are you going to leave Earth, and live anywhere else? Yes there are other Earth like planets that support life that we’re found, but they’re thousands of light years away.

Now for anyone who doesn’t know, a light year is not a measurement of time. It is a measurement of distance. A light year is the distance you would travel going the speed of light for 1 year. In order to reach these other Earths, you need to travel the speed of light for thousands of years. So we know when Musk leaves earth, he’s not going to those planets. So where’s he going? Is it possible that he knows how to leave this timeline, and return to the main timeline, but lacks the technology to do so? So he just funds SpaceX so that he can leave?

Here’s another fun thing to think about. Throughout the late 1940s and 1950s, home tech really exploded. Microwave ovens. Electric refrigerators. Rockets. Lasers. Radio broadcast bandwidth that would allow the VHF frequencies for television. Air bags in cars. TV dinners. All this news stuff that completely changes the way Americans live their life. It’s all tech that was developed during WWII with the innitial idea of being used during the war. Most of it developed by nazis. Elon Musk is a self identifying nazi who even did the hitler salute twice during trumps inauguration in 2025. Once to the front camera, then he turned around and did it again. Removing all doubt that it was a mistake. He wanted the camera to see it, and then he did it again so the people behind him could see too. Is it possible that some technologies from the war never made it to use in our daily lives?

Kind of really seems weird that WWII starts out with hitler being some kind of political machine, and military powerhouse threatening to take over the entire world. Yet ending 6 years later with hitler being a meth head that is getting invaded from both sides. A reality he saw as a threat, so specifically made a non-aggression pact with Stalin. Only to then attack Stalin. Think about that. "I know russia would crush us if the west were attacking from the west, while russia attacks from the east. That would end in my defeat. I should get Stalin on my side, so I can divide France, England, and America if needed…right after I attack russia real quick.

That does not feel like a natural sequence of believable events, yet that’s our history. I think whomever has access to the time travel timeline jumping came in, dumped a bunch of tech from the far future in nazi hands. The nazis won, and then after hundreds of years of oppression traveled back in time to give the allies the win so the nazis fall.

And since their timeline isn’t a dumpster fire now, they have no reason to come back and check on us. How are we doing after they affected our lives? Bad. Though I will admit I am glad they killed the nazis.

But this means we gotta live through fascism again, this time from the USA instead of Germany. Once the USA goes full world domination and starts invading countries, maybe in a few hundred years someone will come back and coarse correct again. Because right now, it feels like we’re on our fourth or maybe fifth timeline. Musk threatens to change things if he can find his way out. No telling what changes that’s going to bring, but I can tell you he’s not going to give a fuck either way. If him leaving means the rest of the world is covered in life ending lava, he’ll still do it and not give two fucks.

So yeah. Basically we’re the runoff unwanted timeline, and we keep getting fucked over by fascists, and have to live through this bullshit for centuries, until the good timeline gets mildly inconvenienced by fascism for a short time. Then they’ll come back, some details will mildly change. Maybe people misremember lines from movies. “Luke I am your father”. Nope, never happened. Or maybe it did. In the original timeline. Maybe our memories won’t let everything go, but we don’t remember a lot of how things should be. Pretty soon all plantlife will refuse to grow because we’re planting it in soil, and using Gatoraid to grow it, because of money. Water is just the stuff in our toilets. You want to grow food from toilet water??? Thats CRAZY talk!!! Everyone knows you use Gatoraid with electrolites, and pesticides to kill off the bad bacteria. It makes you violently shit, but you’re alive!

None of this matters. We live in the dumbest timeline.

100 guesses and I would not have guessed Will Farrell. I did not recognize him at all. Even now that you point it out, it’s borderline. Granted I didn’t see the video with audio. I saw the video while I was in a public space, and since I’m not an asshole, and since I had no headphones, I just watched it on mute. Still only BARELY see that as Will Farrel.

Like someone else could come along, and troll me, and tell me you’re trolling me, and that it’s NOT Will Farrell, and I’d probably think they were telling the truth. That’s like Tim Curry levels of acting disguise.

Once the skin dries out like that, and you paint it, wouldn’t it continue to degrade over time?