Yeah I said it! The sensation is mid. It’s Mid! The orfice is 90% bone structure and has razors at the opening. Most people can’t even open their jaw wide enough to avoid scraping you. The fascination people have with it is visual, but don’t get me started on that. You know what else?
Gargle noises sound like gargling. They’re less than mid! Imagine asking to hear bgbhfbfhgbbghgbhbbggbggbbgbggggggg instead of having sex. Like, bro they can’t breath! That is the miniature pug of sex acts.
Blowjobs are a psyop by Big Blowjob to make you have dumber sex. 69 is alright though because at least then they moan on ur dick which does feel pretty elite. But it has a height requirement, like the rollercoaster.
Does anyone know why blowjobs in porn are so degrading and violent? As a young guy who got his first impressions of sex from porn, I thought there was something wrong with me for finding them disgusting. I felt awful for the actresses and skipped the really bad parts. Am I in the minority for wanting something slow and seductive where the woman has dignity and actual desire?
I’m trying to muster the courage to have sex for the first time, but I have this insecurity about wanting to receive oral because porn gave me the impression that there is no dignified, comfortable, and empowered way to give it. For me tongue action looks really hot and I lose interest if she sucks too deep or uses her throat a lot.
Same reason so much porn has spanking, slapping face, choking, overly rough penetration, etc. It’s a caricature of dominance fantasy.
Which is ok, you’re allowed to have fantasies and watch kinky porn. But it becomes a problem when it becomes expected / normalised, used as education, or emulated in real life. Which is has.
This is also mostly only a problem in western porn. If you try something like Japanese porn (not hentai), you will see they are often very different in the oral sex segments.
Try to find someone who appreciates being gentle / sensual during sex. It’s more common than you think; though they might need to get used to it.
Plenty of women love giving head and just tell her what feels good.
Perhaps if I’m being more honest, receiving a blowjob to me represents one of the most vulnerable things I can possibly do, because my partner would be getting to know me on a very intimate level by feeling and tasting one of my most sensitive areas. I’ve never really understood why fellatio is widely considered some kind of performance, because to me, the real intensity lies in that level of intimacy, and a slower, more sensual pace with more attention to detail amplifies the experience.
I’m terrified of being that vulnerable, so I would often tell myself things like “women don’t enjoy giving oral” to reassure myself that the threat wasn’t real. But I have since passed the denial stage and I am trying to emotionally prepare myself for it.
So, it’s not just telling a partner “Hey, I like a slow and gentle pace,” it’s more like “I am telling you the most intense and powerful thing you could ever do to my nervous system, and I am trusting you to use that power responsibly.”
Is that what “getting head” means to most people, or is it just me?
I don’t think it’s just you. In a lot of ways I think I’m in the same boat as you.
You strike me as a very sensible and sensitive (in a good way) person. You just have to remember that so many things in the world, and especially the internet are trying to make you feel insecure over these things for self-serving reasons. I think the main thing that matters is just finding someone you’re comfortable with, and after the first times it gets less scary.
Tbh, it’s an insecurity that most would probably like more than anything. I don’t think anyone would see you in a bad light if you broached the subject before hand. It would probably be endearing.
One way to politely ask to receive is to offer some first.
Worked for my first time. In a tent at a music festival.
I think it is often very different with amateur stuff. Not pro-am stuff (most OF), but things people share without expectation of monetary gain, just for the love of the game. They will most probably avoid showing faces which makes it hard to show a BJ. But there is stuff like that out there. Just aim for seeing enjoyment out of the activity for all involved or avoid the thing altogether.
Honestly, look for porn for women. Most professional, studio porn is, like you said, gross and demeaning and I hate it, but porn made for women is a genre that is generally a little gentler and sensual. I usually avoid mainstream studio porn like the plague
Porn for women is amazing and it’s the only thing I want to watch now. If not for the gentleness, then for seeing women’s sexual desires for men from their perspective.
I used to justify my avoidance of women by arguing that they don’t desire men and are coerced into sex on a universal scale, but seeing those videos forced me to admit that I am actually just afraid of getting my dick sucked.