Simple really:
- A talking snake with legs convinced Eve, who was made from a rib, to eat a fruit that made her realize she was naked.
- ???
- Jesus had to be born of a woman, obviously.
I’ve never heard that the snake had legs, what’s that from?
The story goes that after the snake convinced Eve to eat the fruit, God cursed the snake and said that part of the snakes curse was that “on your belly you will go” which leads one to believe that before it must not have been on it’s belly… Moral of the story: If an animal crosses God, it’s gonna loose it’s legs. Would have been funny if it was an Elephant instead of a Snake…
Oh, yeah, I never really made the connection that the snake would have had to have some sort of appendages first. Interestingly, the ancestors of snakes did have legs.
I think Yahweh was an ancient magical Orb that could encode data and control the universe.
Eh, makes more sense than what the bible says.
I think Jesus knew all of this for certain, so almost everything he says easily makes a lot of sense to Christians
Because he already ate all of the spare ribs.
Because it’s all made up, and the points don’t matter.
Let’s just be honest here,
They kinda gloss over exactly how Mary got preggo.
I’m just wondering, did he pull a Zeus and show up as one variety of animal or another?
Virgin birth was meant as born without sin. So she did the mortal nasty
Which makes the whole Religious Right trying to paint it as her being magically pregnant all so they can make sex ebil even more hilarious
I mean… Jesus DID had brothers and sisters, both from the same mother and some side work Joseph had with another woman.
Sin eventually caught up.
Well don’t tell the Catholics that. They believe she’s still a virgin.
Could you imagine being raised in that house?
yup. the question is… did he show up like a swan. maybe a horse (poor marry. so unsatisfying,) or maybe something else. (tentacles seem like they could be fun.)
Do you have a source on your claim? Why do you say this when it’s completely false? You are spreading misinformation.
Source:
34 “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”Parthenos Definition NAS Word Usage - Total: 15 a virgin a marriageable maiden a woman who has never had sexual intercourse with a man one's marriageable daughter a man who has abstained from all uncleanness and whoredom attendant on idolatry, and so has kept his chastity one who has never had intercourse with womenThe angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.
There’s your answer.
While I agree this is funny (and am aware this is a meme community) I’d be careful to not use this as an argument. Nowhere does it say the only way God could’ve sent Jesus was through a virgin birth.
The question really starts before that. Yahweh is supposed to be “omnipotent” or “all powerful”. So, why was The Christ necessary at all? If Yahweh could shape reality just by saying things and they became real, couldn’t he just say “I forgive you” and “Original Sin” would be forgiven?
So either Yahweh isn’t all powerful and there is some greater power to which he is subservient; or, Yahweh just wanted to dip his dick in an unwilling woman to create his son/self to torture to death. All hail Yahweh!So, why was The Christ necessary at all?
The straightforward answer is that Christ was the right tool for the job.
If Yahweh could shape reality just by saying things and they became real, couldn’t he just say “I forgive you” and “Original Sin” would be forgiven?
That is a thing Jesus repeated ad nauseam in his ministries. And since he’s an Avatar of God, this is exactly what happened.
So either Yahweh isn’t all powerful and there is some greater power to which he is subservient; or, Yahweh just wanted to dip his dick in an unwilling woman to create his son/self to torture to death.
This is an age-old paradox of language. “Can God create a bolder so heavy that he cannot lift it? Either way, he must not be All Powerful!”
But it limits the way we look at the world to an entirely and superficially magical one. The idea of God as a Wizard in a big crooked hat who says strange words and waves hands and makes a thing happen.
Consider… This paradox is solved without any magical powers. A man with a chisel and a large lump of stone can create a bolder too big for him to lift my main strength. But then that same man can build a lever/pull system to lift said bolder. He has done both! Therefore man is All-Powerful!
God’s favored discipline agreed to bare a child. And that child agreed to martyr himself in order to bring about a Christian faith. And that faith exists to bring light and hope and joy to the world. And its easy enough to find a Christian who can attest to that sense of hopefulness through their faithfulness. A seed planted 2000 years ago gives birth to a forest. Feels miraculous to me.
That gets to the problem with these logical angles of attack on a religious belief. They’ve all been done to death for a thousand years and more. And there are rhetorical rebuttals for any smug one-liner either side can bring to the table. But you can’t logic someone out of a view they didn’t logic themselves into. The idea of Jesus as a spiritual martyr who provides relief for your guilt and inner turmoil isn’t something you can refute casually. Its like arguing with a homopath over the effectiveness of microdosing or with a yogi over the spiritual benefits of meditation.
At the end of the day, all you’re saying is “This shouldn’t make you feel better!” And all they need to refute you is “Ah, but it does.”
Apparently bro has a pretty serious code of conduct and adheres to it to a T
God finally busts a nut and y’all want to shame him.
It was premarital sex, so he deserves it for breaking the 10 commandments.
With a minor…
In His favor, if you are endless then time is an illusion and legal age is a double illusion
Actually, fucking a child is not a sin. It is not condemned anywhere in the bible. Neither is rape.
The trolling response is obvious if you grew up around teenagers playing with this idea:
- Men developed faster than women.
- Men started as women in the womb then were able to develop past it.
- God created a first draft in Adam, then said “i bet I could do it better a 2nd time, and I won’t start from scratch this time”
- There is always a first child when it comes to siblings. “rolls eyes”
- Well Adam was the first, so there was no bloodlust. Due to eating the fruit, well there was a grudge match scheduled for having the time-out from paradise and introduction of death/bad/good/children - The terms of the grudge match were laid out: fruit of the woman to crush the snake.
