That “Goth” chick just rinsed this dude to watch her perform a dance.
My gay friends call me a platinum star because I never fucked a woman and I’m a cesarian section.
I am not following
“Gold star” means “never had sex with the opposite gender” in LGBTQ+ slang. My man here managed to dodge the pussy at birth too, elevating him to platinum rank.
oooooh. Thanks !
pulls out $600 and asks for happy ending
You’re not a virgin because you’re bad with women. You’re a virgin because you’re bad with money.
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yeah maybe hire an actual prostitute instead of assuming all women offering a service you don’t understand are actually just whores
anon deserves his blue balls
she implied anon could’ve recieved that service if anon wasn’t “too spiritually pure” defo a prostitute, at least as a side hustle.
(if this story was real that is, which of course it is not)
Anon is very obviously describing a prostitute who lives somewhere where it is illegal and thus advertising with innuendo. Anon was turned down by a prostitute. Also the only one calling women whores was you.
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Anon is very obviously describing a prostitute who lives somewhere where it is illegal and thus advertising with innuendo.
this is a possibility but it sounds more to me like he misunderstood a witchy tiktoker who also likes bdsm, which is VERY common in occult-y circles
Anon was turned down by a prostitute.
if she’s a prostitute then no anon wasn’t “turned down”, anon was robbed.
Also the only one calling women whores was you.
nah but thanks for letting me know you’re upset for some weird reason
You’re fucking wild dude
i hang out with a lot of freaks. my late partner was an escort, and she wouldn’t take your money and then just not perform she’d just refuse your money. her shitty friend would go lock herself in the bathroom for the whole hour though, and after a while she quit getting clients.
if she’s a prostitute then no anon wasn’t “turned down”, anon was robbed.
You lost me here. What a wild thing to say.
assuming she’s a prostitute he paid at the beginning of the “session”, and he mentions the session ends. her advertised rate is $200. she took his $200 that was implied to be for a service and anon did not recieve said service. anon was robbed. i don’t understand why this is a “wild” idea.
my take was that he hired an energy healer that also posts about kink, she politely snarked at him when he tried to explicitly buy sex, and it went over his head. also as i was typing this i realized it doesn’t really have to be either/or and maybe something went over my head as well.
assuming she’s a prostitute he paid at the beginning of the “session”
This is a wild take though. He paid $200 to ‘release tension, whatever that was’ and was ‘hoping it goes somewhere’. She declined the $600 for a ‘happy ending’.
What he described was closer to going to a massage parlor and having them decline a happy ending, but still giving the normal massage.
ya that’s what that last sentence is about, the whole conversation i was thinking about my late partner’s escort services and it clicked while i was typing that it could be what you describe just woo woo shit instead of massage. im slow sometimes lol.
Nothing about this post implies she’s a prostitute.
well, it’s p clear anon thinks she’s a prostitute. this comment chain started with my observation that perhaps she isn’t one, and you chimed in where i was going back and forth with someone who agrees with anon and believes she is a prostitute. why are you shooting off your mouth about people saying wIlD tHiNgS and “correcting” people when you clearly haven’t bothered to understand any part of the post or the conversation?
>get psych degree >become disillusioned with the world and my minuscule place in it >distaste for society rising >decide to open a little witch shop >even offer subtle counseling >occasionally rip chuds out of their hate holes >never had a customer leave without personal growth >be yesterday >laundromat fire left me with barely any clothes >fuckthisqueerhatingearth.png >still have customers today >can’t cancel without incurring penalties >fuckthisqueerhatingcreditprocessor.fat >smell like burnt plastic >wearing rescued sheets from head to toe >appointments not going too bad considering the circumstances >then arrived the mound >a ball of unwashed hair stretching out into a protective sphere >sebum flows and drips from my bead draped doorframe as walks in >understand immediately that I have to do something about this >I’ll save this one Jonny >but I can’t get a word out of him >he communicates only in grunts >he's distracted for some reason >finally give up as the hour elapses >grasp failure for the first time >as he leaves, he suddenly turns, whipping salty droplets onto my face >I convulse but keep my composure >finally hear his voice >think we’re finally going to talk >he extends a wad of money toward me and begs for a handy >the straw that broke the camel’s back >can barely squeak out an apology as I exit the room and begin crying >I just wanted to help👏👏👏 BRAVO 👏👏👏
Go to a rave and do some meth.
If you don’t get to rail someone / get railed, contact me for further instructions.
Average CIA agent
You got invited to Langley? Fuck yeah, man. Everyone gets laid at Langley
Covers’ blown, get out of there Dasus!
profession i might enjoy but not a country i would like serving
Joke’s on you; I have ADHD. Meth just makes me even more quiet and reserved.
If you want to come out of your shell and get laid at a rave, I recommend candy flipping. Psychedelics will turn the most reserved introvert into a social butterfly, and the MDMA is to take the edge off, so that you can just enjoy tripping in public without having to face your demons and discover the meaning of life. The combo makes sex so much better too.
Yeah that’s now how anything works and I don’t care to argue as I’ve had the debate 100000000x times
takes meth
recedes into self
contemplated naval while everyone else is bouncing off the walls
checks label
“What kind of meth is it when it’s called Fentanyl?”
Well yes it’s much more nuanced than that, but we’re in a 4chan community so I’m not about to drop a novel here, either.
Why is everything so depressing here
on earth?
I mean. It looks like sad people find their way in greentexts.
Is it depressing though? Tragedy is somebody’s comedy, you just got to see the funny and laugh.
Because the Internet was a bad idea at this point. ;)
I mean just look at the state of the planet and where humanity heading. If that does nor make you depressed then what is wrong with you?
Some folks around here really down bad
Gay dudes are always waiting to help the down and out.
“I see you more as a brother”
“How much to see me as a step brother?”
Drop the $600 under a bed for her to reach it
just in case anyone wants to watch 40 mins about the bg of the original “stuck in a washing machine” woman, along with lawsuits against the predatory practices of gdp
pioneers and innovators
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IMO the worst thing about being a virgin is that it’s forbidden to have sex, at least according to your caring parents, teachers, and social context. It’s more about breaking the nonsensical rules than actually about having sex, at least that’s how it was for me.
it’s forbidden to have sex
Yep. I grew up in upper class britain and it’s sad how here too that was somehow, without ever explicitly being said, drilled into me.
Edit: nobody ever told me that sex was bad, but that’s the view I took away for some reason?
i think it’s less explicitly “sex is bad” and more “virginity is holy”, making people feel like sex is bad
it’s not the sex that I crave, just a physical warmth would be great
Same. But sex would also be great
Then get a dog
Allow me to introduce you to… the London Undeground trains! The Northern line in summer rush hour is like a bunch of penguins huddling together for warmth in a hot oven.
EDIT: I think I misunderstood what you wanted but I hope you got a chuckle out of it.
this is the kind of thing only an aroace could say
This is a really common sentiment. Humans are social apes but many cultures have severely curtailed what kind of touch is considered appropriate.
I highly recommend hanging with cats. When I was younger, I volunteered at a cat rescue. Friendly cats are almost always down to be pet and to rub their furry little faces all over you. It’s hard to feel as lonely when you’re hanging out with your cat buds, and the rescue cats need friends too.
I have 3 stray kittens hanging out around my porch. Once they get comfortable enough, I will take them to vets and from there I hope the three can stay inside
Hot Pockets aren’t just for eating anymore.
Let it cool a while first, trust me
I ain’t no quitter
sweater?
nooooooo i said physical warmth
That’s why you make an agreement in advance.
I was 27 when i did the deed for the first time. It was very overrated. I’m almost 40 now. Ive been married, tried a few partners, it just didn’t matter. But before 27 I thought I must be missing out and got sad over it. Nah man it’s really nbd.
It’s society putting sex on pedestal. I agree when I did the deed for the first time, I feel it is overrated. Sorry if i might slight someone here, but from my observation, it is kind of the shallower folks who put too much value on sex.
It’s not a big deal, except that now you know it’s not a big deal. When people are hung up about it, releasing that can be a help.
It’s because you had sex with your popo instead of with your peepee
makes sense for someone from @lemmynsfw.com to say that lol
Ty, almost forgot where we were
Yep. Spent 5 years feeling social pressure to have sex then when I did have it at 20 it wasn’t as enjoyable. The only thing I got out of it was guilt for caring so much about something that mattered so little; regret for rushing into something i didn’t really want; and relief for not having the bare the social burden anymore.
Protect your virginity lol.
i wouldn’t say “protect your virginity”.
i would say to not do it until you’re ready, and don’t expect it to be the best thing ever, because everyone has a different experience and you may or may not enjoy it.
As a multicultural person, depends what society you’re in. Western culture is hedonistic and obsessed with sex, while the more conservative non-Western cultures are prude and ascetic. Either way, both cultures put sex on pedestal. When one loses their virginity doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Humans are weird creatures for having this attitude on sex.
It’s fundamentally different for humanity. A bug has sex, shits out a thousand eggs, and then dies by flying into a rock moving at speed. A monkey cares for its young for a year. Gorillas are considered crazy for having a three year long rearing process. And then there are humans with fucking 12 years, a sixth of your life at absolute minimum for our children to avoid dying by just existing in society. Preganancy historically, and presently, killing leagues of women certainly doesn’t dissuade the careful choice. Sex has only very recently, broadly speaking, become a safe diversion, and human culture is slow to adapt.
Women are also generally able to get pregnant year-round, which is unusual in the animal kingdom. And AFAIK there are only a couple of species where the women can actually have a good orgasm, though obviously that’s kind of difficult to test.
I hope you realize you are an outlier in this respect
Yeah, to serve as a counter example, I didn’t have sex until 24, it was alright, nothing amazing, but I felt good about it overall. Then that relationship fell apart because I had no idea how to relationship and ended up pretty needy and I didn’t have sex again until 3 years later. Then it was like the floodgates opened, had a casual relationship that I also wasn’t really ready for but learned a lot about myself during, and then fooled around with a swinger couple for a little while before ending up in my own open relationship and had a ton of fun with that.
Then, after that relationship ended, I had a bit of a manwhore phase, and from that, my guess is that these guys lowered their standards to get laid because those were the times when I’d walk away from a sexual experience not feeling great about it. The sex itself would be fine, but that post-nut clarity would hit hard and I’d just want to get away and be alone. Contrast that to when I was actually attracted to my partner, when I’d be happy to just spend more time with them, cuddling or going for another round, or even just existing in the same space as them.
Yeah, my first time was awkward, and embarrassing. However, the over-all take away was good.
while you’re at it, also protect your milk teeth. do stand in the way of progress.
