You may be interested in this: https://elan.school/

I’d never considered this before, but the flexiblity that you get from ambivalence is almost like a social superpower - that’s really cool!

What a cutie!

There are certain toasters I’d love to take a bath with…Number Three in particular.

I’m American and I haven’t given a penny to my folks. If they needed financial help, of course I’d help them out, but they don’t need my money. By the same token, I’ve told them several times that I don’t want an inheritance. I’d rather they enjoy their money while they’re alive.

Speaking as someone in the upper middle class and barring any catastrophe, I think it’s poor planning on the parents’ part to have to be reliant on financial support from their adult child. I understand it’s not that way for everyone, but in our case, my parents worked for the State. They had good benefits including a very generous pension, plus they both receive social security. If they needed my help financially it would mean they’d been really irresponsible with their money.

I do help them in other ways - e.g., moving heavy furniture that they can no longer lift, or being there to help my mom when my dad had surgery. They know that I’m there if they need me. Maybe in our case that’s what matters more than giving them actual money.

I am a pacifist. I would not punch anybody unprovoked. Provocation would mean a situation in which I have to physically protect myself or someone else.

This dude sounds amazing!

Portal Stories: Mel

One of my favorite depressing songs

I think it might be generational. That word has always been part of my vocabulary. I’ve got no problem whatsoever with it, and if I’m being really honest I have a hard time taking it seriously when someone refers to it as “the R word”. I would never use it to refer to someone with an actual intellectual disability - that would be cruel. But normal people who do dumb shit, or even inanimate objects that malfunction? Sure, all the time, because I don’t mean it in a literal way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I can’t tell if you’re serious, but in case you are, this is a joke.

Goulash is delicious, not a bad way to go

Yes! Much better than Flotter anyway.

Three Dog Night ;)

Oh my god that looks delicious

Hide your cats!

Beautiful beastie!!

Yeah, you’re overreacting a little, but more importantly, you can’t control him, nor should you want to. His decision to use drugs is his alone. What you can control is your involvement in the situation.

Listen. You probably love this guy a lot, but he’s not giving you what you need at this point in your life:

1. He’s too depressed to interact in the ways you need and the result is that he’s neglecting you (also, is he even trying to tackle his depression in any meaningful way? Therapy, medication, etc?)
2. He’s making objectively poor decisions (fucking meth, ffs!)
3. He lives too far away for a viable day-to-day relationship
4. He’s not honest with you
5. He’s distant and pushing you away

And your reactions aren’t healthy. You’re upset that he’s doing things you don’t approve of, and you say:

I would never do things i know he doesnt like for fun

but this isn’t how healthy adult relationships work. You are too entangled and you’re blurring the lines between his preferences and yours.

You can’t fix him. Think of this relationship like a broken vending machine. You put your dollar in, but it doesn’t give you the snack you’re trying to buy. So you put another dollar in, but your snack still doesn’t come out. How many dollars do you feed the machine before you accept that it’s broken? The analogy here is that you can pour all the love and caring you want into this relationship, but it isn’t leading to the result you want. You’re in a relationship but still deeply lonely, and your partner is doing things that actively cross a line with you. Don’t keep wasting your emotional energy.

At this point, staying with him because you’ve been together for nearly 3 years is a sunk cost fallacy. It’s really unlikely that things will improve with him at this point, and staying together just keeps you stuck in a bad situation, preventing you from finding someone who actually meets your needs.

You know you ought to break up with him. You can still care about him from afar, but you need to disentangle from him. He is his own responsibility, not yours. And it’s OK to be single for a while! I would urge you not to jump into another relationship straight away. Right now, unhealthy relationship patterns are normal for you, so you should take time to process and recover, don’t just rebound. This will help you find a healthy, mature partner when you do start dating again. And you deserve a fulfilling, healthy relationship!

Good luck!

I remember learning about bouba/kiki in grade 1… until today, I assumed all kids did!

Befriend all corvids!!!