Doesn’t the baby already come covered in parmesan cheese?

You want lip too is the worst.

When your brow waxer is implying you’ve got a lady stache, and asking if you want her to wax that too.

Awww greyhound snoot 😍

And if a woman eats zero burgers during her pregnancy she will give birth to the Hamburglar. Forever trying to get the nutrients he was denied as a fetus.

Gamer boys are TERRIBLE at self-care and hygiene.

I’m so curious about this. Why are they like that? I don’t understand how that happens, and what specifically about gaming makes it more prevalent.

And it was always “three Hail Marys and a Glory Be” and you’re golden. What a weird ritual.

Not the dude in the Bible, because the things he’s supposed to have done are impossible. So probably there was some dude that did or said some things and then got a bunch of folklore attached to him. A certain amount of the jesus story comes from contemporaneous myths - IIRC, a virgin birth was a common one.

It’s a tie tack, that’s a normal thing. But it being a gun is tacky as all getout.

OK, it was is exact moment that I actually fully believed this is a simulation with the ‘surreal’ parameter maxed out.

Not a .196?

I bow down to your superior Cheetoing methods.

Welp there goes my evening

Aw man what’d I miss?

May I introduce you to the concept of pouring a ton of Cheetos onto a plate, then picking them up one-by-one by adhering your tongue to them like a chameleon?

I believe the trans population is 1% of total population. So 1% of 5700 mass shooters is 57, meaning trans shooters are very underrepresented among mass shooters roughly by a factor of 10.

Isn’t this a quote from Gabby Giffords, who pretty famously got shot by Jared Loughner? She has a unique perspective here.

May I introduce you to the concept of chopsticks?

OK, Sandy has a new bestie and kitten friends? What a lucky lady, I bet she’s loving her new home!

OP, you OK?