Title says it all

  • Susaga@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    A duck walks into a bar wearing one shoe. The bartender says “hey buddy, you lost a shoe” and the duck says “nah, I found one!”

  • Sunny' 🌻@slrpnk.net
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    3 months ago

    The dumbest joke I know is a knock knock Joke and goes like this. You first have to make the person you’re telling the joke to start saying “knock knock”, then you you say, “who’s there?”.

    Proceed to watch the other person confused about what to do next 😅

    • Odigo2020@lemmy.zip
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      3 months ago

      Usually, the most effective way is to say, “Wanna hear a knock knock joke?”

      “Sure!”

      “Okay, you start.”

      Has about a 90% success rate.

  • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Him: Hey, when you’re out camping, do you enjoy it when you wake up in the morning and water vapor condensers on your lenses?

    Me: DEW EYE?!?

  • Got_Bent@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    This one is a true story:

    I was in Dallas Love Field with my daughter several years ago.

    I said, “You know, this is where John Kennedy landed only a few hours before he was killed. Show some respect and try not to make an ass…assin of yourself.”

    Roughly fifteen years later her eyes still haven’t come back from rolling into the back of her head

    I’m still proud of myself for coming up with that little airport joke on the fly

  • SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    3 months ago

    I called the wrong number today. I said ‘Hello, is Joey there?’

    A woman answered and she said ‘Yes he is.’

    And I said ‘Can I speak to him please?’

    She said ‘No, he can’t talk right now, he’s only two months old.’

    I said 'Alright, I’ll wait

    I’m sorry for spamming Steven Wright jokes. I’ll stop now

  • neidu2@feddit.nl
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    3 months ago

    What do you call an elephant that can only be accessed remotely?

    Telephant

    Yes, I’m a dad, how did you know?