Honestly I’m starting to feel like I have nothing to offer. Everyone always asks what I bring to the table. When both people are working what exactly do you want me to bring to the table?
You either find something you like in me (like my mentality, personality, appearance) or you don’t, I don’t get it.
Do you want me to slave away for you or something? Also I’m pretty introverted so I cant offer you social ties or community for the most part. Guess I’m useless.
I genuinely don’t feel like most people are THAT special. Like most people aren’t rocket scientists who also have 59 obscure hobbies and write dissertations in their spare time. Wtf do people want? A positive outlook?
Ok I have a positive outlook to offer you. They’re gonna laugh in my face when I say that. Oh I’m also quirky by the way. Not like the other girls. Teehee.
Some things off the top of my head, which to me seem unrelated to personality: affection, companionship, attention, care, empathy, collaboration, someone in whom to confide, someone with whom to push through hardships, partnership, entertainment.
Beyond that, I started believing that all of that “watch what you bring to the table” stuff is not very helpful. We always bring ourselves to the table, and as long as we’re not horrible people with harmful psychological maladaptations (I’m talking unaddressed trauma, malign narcissistic tendencies, abusive tendencies, unhealthy relationship patterns, etc.) and have respect for all people we meet, potential partner or not, then the rest is up to the other person to decide.
Seriously, just develop yourself as a person as YOU would want to develop. Find and dive into things which interest you, practice the skills which interest you, be someone YOU would find interesting, regardless of what anyone else may think. Add to that a capacity for truly listening to someone, and you’re doing as much as you possibly can. Plus don’t forget, you need to focus on deciding whether or not you like the person as well! Worrying too much about your side of the table will increase the chances of missing some major red flags in your potential partner (ask me how I know…).
In addition, try to do a real check-up with yourself, you may have a lot of positives already which you may not be seeing due to being used to them (our best attempt may oftentimes look like the bare minimum from our own perspective, while it is above and beyond from everyone else’s). And put yourself out there with your interests, be it in person, or online!
Those are just givens? It’s not what I personally bring to the table that’s just what relationships are for. Empathy is part of personality imo though
This one’s kinda weird, I don’t agree that that would make someone undateable
I used to think this until I realized no one is that special. I’m only interesting to someone who might be interested. And that’s normal, you can’t always be interesting to everyone.
I have too many interests and too little time. Honestly I guess I’m just not in a place to date right now. Still doesn’t stop me from getting irritated about it, and people’s grim questions.
I mean I’m doing a lot of stuff but like, none of them are particularly interesting to the average person I would say. For example, any time I’d share something with my ex he would tell me to get over myself and that I have “main character syndrome” meaning I think I’m more important than I am, and that I don’t really matter much. I kind of agree. Nobody really matters much. I like sharing my feelings and thoughts and ideas, but I’m starting to realize no one really cares about them. Which is why I think I’m better off alone. Maybe I just am an uninteresting stupid person.