Yeah I’m pretty far down the comments here and am just dumbfounded, as a 40+/m. I’m married, so maybe my perspective is skewed, but I’m anxious, introverted, and also don’t feel like dating would be that much of a challenge if I found myself in that scene again.
For one, rejection isn’t personal. They’re doing me a favor if they decline or ghost me because I’m not going to waste more time on that relationship. I figured that out in my early 20s. I may need a couple weeks or months between because I don’t have an abundance of social energy, but it’s not that big of a deal either.
And then having hobbies is a great way to meet like-minded people. The more people you encounter with similar interests, the more likely you’ll encounter someone with whom you may connect on another level. It’s more difficult online, so I’d probably spend more time doing my outdoor things (birding, photography, surveying frog calls, etc) rather than gaming. They’re mostly solo hobbies, but I do often find myself meeting people who want to chat about it while I’m out and about.
I thought I was one of the most socially inept people I know, but I can’t relate to what I’m reading here. Maybe we need to work on our personal boundaries more and understand ourselves better before we’re pursuing relationships.
I thought I was one of the most socially inept people I know, but I can’t relate to what I’m reading here.
Right? Like I said, I’m not skilled any anything, and don’t have any looks going for me. And I’ve never had a problem dating. This thread kinda backs up almost all the stereotypes people have of maladjusted misfits online. lol
Just because their experiences don’t tally with your own is not grounds to dismiss them outright.
Their experiences don’t tally with most people’s–that’s the point I’m making. The majority of people who make up Lemmy seem to be more socially inept than the rest of the population. Which also tracks with the attitudes I see here on other things.
So yes, I will dismiss them outright. Lemmy is a small outlier which seems to have a higher population of people who aren’t as socially adjusted as most of the population. And even more so in this thread! lol
And many users I come across on here seem to be strangely fixated on one thing and I’ve actually had them follow me around on Lemmy just to downvote me on unrelated topics because I touched a nerve on a different topic. I’ve had users start entire threads about trying to get others to rally behind the entire fediverse getting rid of me, all because I may have disagreed with them on one subject. It’s weird! lol
“Notorious right wing troll gets one of his many accounts banned for evasion” https://sh.itjust.works/post/35178938/17637021(where people celebrate banning some user who they thought was an alt of me, but wasn’t even me! lmao)
All because I didn’t vote the way they did. I’ve posted stuff to science communities, and will have people go there, talk about politics and downvote me. Even tho the communities have nothing to do with politics. So many people on Lemmy are fixated with things. It’s hilarious. And weird.
Reading this thread has pretty much proved my theory that I’ve always had about most Lemmy users! lmao
I think you all are just afraid. The lack of confidence I see on Lemmy is insane. Lol
Ha, lol, people have fears and self confidence issues.
You all have spent so much time staring at screens, you’re afraid to talk to people in real life.
I get that it takes work to overcome self confidence issues, it does to get over any problem. But to just dismiss a myriad of potential issues and personal circumstances as “oh you nerds just need to touch grass and talk to people” is pretty reductive.
Ha, lol, people have fears and self confidence issues.
Sure. But Lemmy seems to have a LOT more of that than the regular population.
But to just dismiss a myriad of potential issues and personal circumstances as “oh you nerds just need to touch grass and talk to people” is pretty reductive.
idk im pretty gay, also asexual. I just dislike people in general. I feel like it’s not that hard to be an incel, and i feel like it’s also pretty hard to socialize, but that’s just me i suppose.
I’ve never understood how/why so many guys on Lemmy (and reddit) are so scared of women.
I have no problems dating, and I’m poor as fuck and have a face like a foot.
After reading the responses in this thread, I think it’s all just a bunch of bullshit excuses you all are making up.
I think you all are just afraid. The lack of confidence I see on Lemmy is insane. Lol
You all have spent so much time staring at screens, you’re afraid to talk to people in real life.
Maybe instead of yelling at people on Lemmy who disagree with your politics, you should actually talk to women in real life. Lol
DMT is cheaper.
Nah, it’s not cheaper than just talking to women.
DMT provides more benefit per dollar.
I’ll pass. You keep doing drugs. I’ll keep fucking. Drugs aren’t my thing. But hey, no hate. You do you.
I’m glad we’ve come to an understanding.
Great take Monk
Thanks, friend!
Yeah I’m pretty far down the comments here and am just dumbfounded, as a 40+/m. I’m married, so maybe my perspective is skewed, but I’m anxious, introverted, and also don’t feel like dating would be that much of a challenge if I found myself in that scene again.
For one, rejection isn’t personal. They’re doing me a favor if they decline or ghost me because I’m not going to waste more time on that relationship. I figured that out in my early 20s. I may need a couple weeks or months between because I don’t have an abundance of social energy, but it’s not that big of a deal either.
And then having hobbies is a great way to meet like-minded people. The more people you encounter with similar interests, the more likely you’ll encounter someone with whom you may connect on another level. It’s more difficult online, so I’d probably spend more time doing my outdoor things (birding, photography, surveying frog calls, etc) rather than gaming. They’re mostly solo hobbies, but I do often find myself meeting people who want to chat about it while I’m out and about.
I thought I was one of the most socially inept people I know, but I can’t relate to what I’m reading here. Maybe we need to work on our personal boundaries more and understand ourselves better before we’re pursuing relationships.
Right? Like I said, I’m not skilled any anything, and don’t have any looks going for me. And I’ve never had a problem dating. This thread kinda backs up almost all the stereotypes people have of maladjusted misfits online. lol
They most likely do talk to women. You are being intentionally obtuse.
Um…have you read this entire thread!? Go do that, then come back to this comment. Lmao
These guys don’t seem to know how to talk to anyone, much less talk to wonen. Lol
I’ve read as much of it as my time permits. Just because their experiences don’t tally with your own is not grounds to dismiss them outright.
Their experiences don’t tally with most people’s–that’s the point I’m making. The majority of people who make up Lemmy seem to be more socially inept than the rest of the population. Which also tracks with the attitudes I see here on other things.
So yes, I will dismiss them outright. Lemmy is a small outlier which seems to have a higher population of people who aren’t as socially adjusted as most of the population. And even more so in this thread! lol
And many users I come across on here seem to be strangely fixated on one thing and I’ve actually had them follow me around on Lemmy just to downvote me on unrelated topics because I touched a nerve on a different topic. I’ve had users start entire threads about trying to get others to rally behind the entire fediverse getting rid of me, all because I may have disagreed with them on one subject. It’s weird! lol
Just some examples:
“I’m Calling For the Fediverse to Ban UniversalMonk” https://sh.itjust.works/post/31017252
“Notorious right wing troll gets one of his many accounts banned for evasion” https://sh.itjust.works/post/35178938/17637021 (where people celebrate banning some user who they thought was an alt of me, but wasn’t even me! lmao)
All because I didn’t vote the way they did. I’ve posted stuff to science communities, and will have people go there, talk about politics and downvote me. Even tho the communities have nothing to do with politics. So many people on Lemmy are fixated with things. It’s hilarious. And weird.
Reading this thread has pretty much proved my theory that I’ve always had about most Lemmy users! lmao
I had people follow me around on reddit too as well as other platforms. Comes with the territory. It’s not a lemmy thing, it’s a people thing.
I don’t think it’s prudent to dismiss lemmy users as outliers when their experiences seem to tally with reports from MSM.
Fair point. I have just never experienced it on Reddit like I have on Lemmy. But you make valid points!
Ha, lol, people have fears and self confidence issues.
I get that it takes work to overcome self confidence issues, it does to get over any problem. But to just dismiss a myriad of potential issues and personal circumstances as “oh you nerds just need to touch grass and talk to people” is pretty reductive.
Sure. But Lemmy seems to have a LOT more of that than the regular population.
Read the entire thread. I stand by what I said.
idk im pretty gay, also asexual. I just dislike people in general. I feel like it’s not that hard to be an incel, and i feel like it’s also pretty hard to socialize, but that’s just me i suppose.
I feel like it’s not that complicated honestly.