I don’t know the answer to all your issues, however, I have seen these distros been mentioned elsewhere in similar discussions so maybe have a look and see if they fit your profile:

• https://getaurora.dev/
• https://bazzite.gg/

I have not used the ones above, I am using PopOS myself, so throwing that hat in the ring as well.

Welcome!

Throwing my hat in the ring for PopOS! I’m in a similar boat of a set and forget OS, and this one is working well!

https://pop.system76.com/