Mayor Poopington

Probably because most people don’t speak Ukrainian

I want that “yep” button to be standard

I prefer the 100m, myself

Exactly this. They transported someone, they filled out a PCR for billing to send to insurance and the patient.

Sometimes I need food fast

I have a tortilla pocket on my cargo shorts. It’s where I keep all my tortillas.

So that means people voted pro choice and still voted for the guy that will enact a federal ban

The next time I see the word slam it better be like that time Hulk smashed Loki into the floor

“25% of our code was copied off of GitHub”

I don’t think either of you will be able to smell each other because eating 2000 lbs of garlic will surely kill you.

Menards are stuck to methighs

MORE WEIGHT

Just wait until until we get Earth Wind & Fire hurricanes. 200 mph gust of jazz ain’t nothing to joke about.

Well that was quite a read. Margaret Thatcher?? Even I have standards. The Onion couldn’t top this court case.

I don’t think I even spend that much time on my actual job

Next you’re going to tell me French fries arent from France

Is anyone on fortnite old enough to vote?

I love this time of year, when all the seasonal stouts come out

Damn good beer

Not entirely true. A number of them are definitely spam, but there are many organizations that do text outreach and there is definitely a person at the other end. They will remove you from their lists if you reply with stop.