I guess I mean inconsiderate as in OP did not consider the optics or have the situational awareness to parse the difference between the expectation she(?) set through her actions and the reality that came after?

But I agree with you, I don’t really think this will be a repeat situation. I’m more inclined to believe that if there was a potential romance going there this might’ve killed it.

Thanks I hate it

I have a different take, as a woman who has not once in my life called a man at “u up?” hours, woken him from a dead slumber with an offer to come over, and then kept him up until 5 am playing video games and chatting:

In any culture that does not have strict religious guidelines, the interpretation would be that you booty called him. He woke up and came over because it seemed like you were offering a booty call. He was nice about it, but he told you he had things to do in the morning, and what you asked of him was an actual disruption to his day. He may like you, but what you did was inconsiderate.

If he is a good guy worthy of good relationships, what you did last night may well be unworthy of him. People are not play things to be called up and used to alleviate insomnia, especially when they make it known they have responsibilities the next day (something I’m sure would not have come up unless he was hinting at wanting to sleep) and you are content to have them stay up all night entertaining you instead.

In my mind, this goes one of two ways. Either he is happy to have the attention and still wants to pursue something with you, or you’ve just given him an ick. Whichever it is, that’s really for him to find out and relay to you, but I would apologize for keeping him up regardless, because I would’ve been annoyed in his place.

And frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t hang out with her again after that

It’s an incredibly low bar not to coerce someone into sex (he passed), but it’s also an incredibly low bar to respect work schedules and appropriate hours (op failed).

I’d like to measure my love for dogs on some z-axis which is unassociated with the dog-murder-to-dog-rape spectrum please

No, 200 x 12 is 2400, or 2.4K annually (if we don’t factor in 90% of deaths and calculate it as 180 x 12). You’re off by a factor of 10. Covid deaths are 60% as common as drowning using that math, not 600%.

Gotta love when people try to fix someone’s bad math by fucking up their own

I’ve got some friends in education and I definitely don’t envy them at all. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Good people, I think, feel it is their duty and sometimes even their purpose to protect children. I feel that imperative too, and can empathize with how upsetting it is to know there’s a harmed child you cannot help. There’s evil, despicable people everywhere and I personally cannot fathom how they live with themselves doing what they do. The sad reality is they often are protected from the consequences of their actions, and I definitely know that righteous anger and that desire for some extrajudicial punishment for people like that.

Maybe you couldn’t save her. But you tried. Maybe you’ll have another kid and won’t be able to save them either. But you just keep trying, doing your best, and you hope that one day you’ll be able to save at least one. It only takes one to know you were somebody’s angel, and that there was a reason for you to be where you were when you were. Give yourself some grace, friend.

“Okay boomer, and how many school shooter drills did you run?”

Bro my brain has been fucking me my whole life, get in line

I don’t. I don’t think there’s a direct line from helplessness to anger. I think it’s just fear of things you cannot control, being overwhelmed with the logistics that accompany a response to any and every possible disaster or inconvenience, and a lifelong weariness built on your own constant vigilance against anything that might marginally worsen your stability and comfort. It’s worry. Constant worry, and your own forecasted model of whatever consequences await should you stop worrying.

If you personally experience anger as a coping mechanism to difficult feelings, I think there’s an emotional regulation issue you need to address and work on. If you’re angry because you feel powerless, it’s probably because you feel more comfortable being angry and use it to avoid the discomfort of feeling small, and that’s your way of reclaiming power. That’s not anxiety, that’s a frightening quality for others to have to deal with, and your pattern of thought shows a willingness to offload the blame for your aggression on external factors. Anyway, I hope you find a way to deal with that, if that’s how you process anxiety.

• Do your friends really like you, or are they just being nice out of pity?

• Did you leave the stove on?

• Really, did you leave it on?

• Hey, so this climate change thing looks pretty scary, huh? Probably not a good thing to leave your progeny to suffer through.

• On an unrelated note, when was your last period again?

• Fuck, now you’re gonna have to go to the drug store, pick up some tests and holy shit what are the abortion cutoffs in your state, again?

• What if you have to find an in-network provider for an appointment, call them, and face the possibility that they’re not taking new patients?

• Oh, that’s an itchy scalp, isn’t it? Better spend the next 30 minutes recording a zoomed in video as you look through each hair section and check for lice.

• Can humans get fleas?

• What if you have to fumigate? You can’t afford that.

• Your car’s sounding weird, don’t you think? What if it just had a catastrophic malfunction on the highway and you die in a horrific crash?

• I mean, at least then you won’t have to worry about the appointments, might be a relief.

Oh right because court orders are always an effective mandate with this admin

Idk maybe I’m old but I feel like I’m always one good shart away from calling it a fucking night

We all participate in unethical business, however far removed our choices may seem from it. I’m not part of the military, don’t endorse it, and am angry about how my taxes are spent on it. It’s our government and military leadership that causes these problems and should be derided though. A lot of these sailors probably joined the military fresh out of high school with nothing better out there for them and aren’t educated enough to realize they’re not doing anything good. They’re kids though, but ride your moral high ground. I’m sure you’ve never worked for a scummy corporation or consumed slave labor goods.

I just think willfully ignoring the fact that there’s systemic pressure that coerces the lower class into the military and then saying they deserve to be starved and sent off to their deaths in pointless war is a fucking wildly dickish perspective. Like you assume they chose to be in the military as one of many lucrative options and not as the only prospective chance to better themselves (however false the illusion is)

Yeah fuck those stupid poors who had no financial safety net nor a good enough education to pursue traditional employment, who wanted the option to secure a good mortgage or steady healthcare

You forgot the one where the police served an illegal no-knock warrant to the wrong house and kicked the door in causing the homeowner to fire a shot (rightfully) believing there were home intruders and his EMS worker girlfriend was murdered in the officer’s return fire. Can’t you think of the poor officers? It’s awfully hard to read a house number

Elon Musk only had to shut the fuck up and mind his business and he could’ve been the happiest, most successful, piece of shit drain on society alive. Instead, he’s a miserable little bitch whining online about a murder committed by an officer 6 years ago. Christ.

It’s a good thing they haven’t made missiles to sense oversized shitted-in diapers, or he’d have really been in trouble