• 2 Posts
  • 30 Comments
Joined 8 days ago
cake
Cake day: January 23rd, 2025

help-circle


  • Hmm? I’m not familiar with that term. He just left me this bat with his friends’ signatures on it, and a few religious symbols. It’s pretty stained, but it’s got a lot of sentimental value. He didn’t say much except that he used it to teach Nazis a lesson by beating them…at the game of baseball. Always that pause near the end as grandma gave him a sharp look. She must have not wanted me to hear about his baseball stories.











  • Hank Scorpio : Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?

    Homer : Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.

    Hank Scorpio : Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn’t I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there’s four places. There’s the Hammock Hut, that’s on third.

    Homer : Uh-huh.

    Hank Scorpio : There’s Hammocks-R-Us, that’s on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.

    Homer : Mm-Hmm.

    Hank Scorpio : That’s on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot… Matter of fact, they’re all in the same complex; it’s the hammock complex on third.

    Homer : Oh, the hammock district!

    Hank Scorpio : That’s right.








  • Emergency Broadcast System: This is not a test. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Quadrennial Purge enacted by the U.S. Presidentt. Citizens classed at $100M net worth and higher have been authorized the commission of any and all crimes with impunity. All other classes are restricted. Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed. Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for the rich for 48 continuous months. Fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable as soon as they’re defunded and until next term when The Purge concludes. Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn. May God be with you all.