Researchers are ecstatic at the prospect that they may have finally discovered the region of space from which Ozzy Osbourne came to this planet.

Guy running for VP: “JD Vance may have sex with couches, dolphins, and even more disturbing things the electorate will learn about soon enough, but JD Vance will be damned if JD Vance ever uses the devil’s pronouns.”

Thought theft affects thousands of employers every day. They’re not paying you to figure out who’s going to find your body after you kill yourself. They’re paying you to work!

We must seize the means of not giving a fuck.