We all contain ancient DNA, we all come from a set of people that evolved, saying people with ASD socialize like Neanderthals is problematic because phrasing it like that implies they haven’t evolved past their ancient roots.

Just because we’re detecting Neanderthal DNA at higher rates in people diagnosed with ASD, doesn’t mean they’re unevolved, autism is a different brain structure, a different way of viewing and experiencing the world.

The double empathy problem is just that both very different neurotypes, don’t understand each other’s unique way of feeling, seeing and experiencing the world, it’s essentially a communication issue.

That communication issue is relative to the fact that autism, while it has existed since the dawn of people, as this study is seeking to delve deeper into, is only relatively newly discovered, as a diagnosable existing neurotype. And if you add onto that the fact our current rates of diagnosis only serve Caucasian boys, that becomes even further problematic for recognition, and communication. Women, and people of colour are just starting to become included and aren’t adequately included. They are currently not in the dsm5.

For the double empathy problem to not exist, we would have to understand and respect both neurotypes and provide the space and needs both require. Currently we only do that for one neurotype. And as a society we aren’t even, yet, capable of adequately, expansively or comprehensively, diagnosing all individuals who have the asd neurotype. Essentially we as a society are only set up to provide for one neurotype.

Let me explain it like this, two types of imaginary people have to exist together, all of one type walk and breathe air, all of the other type, swim and breathe water, currently our society, in this thought experiment, is set up for the walkers, and the swimmers struggle to breathe or even get around in this environment. There shouldn’t be a world where those swimmers are told to suck it up, as is reflective of our current society. The swimmers shouldn’t be expected to evolve to breathe air and walk on land, equal space and provisions should be made for both. In an evolved society, that’s the direction we would go.

So implying their Neanderthal DNA is why they can’t socialise, is also problematic because saying they need to catch up to “us” and learn “our” ways. That’s the opposite direction for resolving the double empathy problem.

People with ASD can’t and shouldn’t be expected to exist in an environment that doesn’t provide for their basic needs. It’s hard to see how cruel and uninclusive that is, without including the lived experiences of people with ASD. I would argue, in all due respect, that if anything is unevolved, it’s that current societal expectation. Because that is what is currently being done to people with ASD. Specialists are engaged to, essentially, help them cope with conforming. But it’s not a changeable thing, it doesn’t stop their brain perceiving the world in the way it does, it just forces them to shove the pain down till they burn out and can’t function. But that could, arguably be blamed on capitalism.

So to end my point I say, the answer is eat the rich.

The reason you find the types you’re going for more intriguing is because they feel familiar, they feel like what you know… I’m going to guess they’re pretty similar to what you grew up with or knowing. Learning that hit me hard, because I can definitely relate to how you date, hugely.

Unknown comes with a level of nervous system stress that you aren’t ready to confront. They behave in different ways, you don’t know what they’re feeling or what will set them off and that not knowing has a huge amount of impending Doom to it, because unpredictable is terrifying, when you have been raised in violence.

The people you’re choosing are the devil you know. That feels safer. You can’t imagine, on a fundamental level, that people come without that level of violence you grew up seeing. So the ones who aren’t that same familiar choice, sub consciously you see them as just as capable of incredible violence, but it’s a complete unknown, which feels like it’s going to expose you to extreme levels of new traumas. So you shut down towards them, and can’t form connections, sub consciously it feels to dangerous.

I should probably have put this disclaimer before I wrote all this, but I am not a mental health professional and I’m just reflecting some things I’ve found that I feel might fit, just a layperson who has walked a similar walk, and tried to find the why, these were some I found, I don’t know if any of them fit for you.

You seem really cool, I love your brain, I love the way you think, you are really astute and self aware. You have a great grasp on what’s going on around you and you can really see the forest for the trees. It’s so rare to find that level of insight, I really enjoyed reading what you wrote.

I don’t really know what the answer is. The more you work at this, the better you’ll get at it. You are able to spot a lot of it, with such a keen eye, maybe take it one step at a time, rather than fix it all at once or make big changes. What are some deal breakers you feel you might need to put in place? What behaviours definitely, always lead somewhere super bad? You have real expertise here. You can still date amongst the people you are choosing, but what boundaries or deal breakers do you need to put in place to protect yourself, to keep your world aligned with all the hard work you’re putting in, and keep aligned with the ideals you’re building for yourself. Who is walking in the same direction as you. Who is capable of the hard work and self reflection, similarly, that you dedicate yourself to. Find someone who can walk with you, and isn’t dragging you off path. Someone focused on the same goals.

There is no hierarchy. That bullspit is all an illusion. You are just as worthy and valued and and deserving of all the things as any of us in a meat suit. When you are more able to see that truth, it’s easier to walk away when others don’t treat you well. When you believe in the core of yourself that you aren’t lesser, it almost impossible to stay with someone who treats you as such. There are good people out there, who want to work and build amazing versions of themselves, like you. Find your people. You got this, already, though. You know. The fact you even ask, that you are already able to see toxic that goes too far, you need to give yourself more credit, you’re already a wiz at this. Just be patient and keep choosing you.

May I just also add the underdiagnosis of women, too.

He shoulda just said he was training an ai model!

Bigger stuff does need to happen. Nobody in power is even really opposing the bad stuff happening.

But this movement will still have power. It doesn’t have to be a fatal hit, to be effective. The power doesn’t come from striking, it comes from engaging the masses and giving them direction, people are scared, they’re not going to go from 0 to 100, it needs to start small. People want to do something and doing something will give them hope, which is desperately needed right now. One day may not feel like much, but the companies would feel it, and be scared, especially if a lot of people participated. They would feel the absence, and know how huge the numbers are, against them. It’s a shot over the wall. It’s a display of power, it’s a warning shot.

It also has the power to get people on board for longer term methods, people start thinking about what they’re buying and what they can go without, on an individual basis, re-examining what they’re buy and from who. It might cost $5 more from the small seller, but the small seller makes it themselves and doesn’t support fascism.

We have all the power really, we just need to unite in one flock of movement. You’re right, we could all go in for the death shot, stop buying from one company entirely, one by one, collapsing them, but how do you organise that when algorithms are controllable and all the social media are owned by these people who are, essentially, the enemy. (except tiktok, that was popular / populated enough and not owned by the same people, hence the hostile take over, they were organising over there, and Bam, instantly organised a hostile take over. Look up tallgirl6234, on tiktok, she organised a massive 3 month long boycotting set up, starting with Kelloggs and including all the other evil overlords)

Big movements, can and do start small. People need to hear about it, and more will join, that alone has ultimate power. The most important thing is numbers. Plus those billions in profits, come from the billions of people. Getting billions of people together, and then doing some capitalism damage, starts somewhere. Join every movement. One or more might be the steamroller that takes it all down.

Yeah, there’s a line being held by fed employees, they aren’t moving. Bit cringe of me to refer to reddit, but there’s a thread over there, for fed employees and they’re talking about how to fight, they’re being offered (pressured into) redundancy packages that they aren’t allowed to see, until they agree to take them, but they’re holding out and not taking them.

Don’t forget about the bugs! Bees and wasps, funnelled right at your face. Pure, car crash convenience.

Meh, they’ve got enough money for therapy.

The fact he’s trying to hide it, speaks volumes. He knows its wrong.

I think they just don’t know. People are oversaturated and oversaturated and overloaded, and suffering for scraps, nobody has time, mental space or money to be choosy. Researching companies, suspiciously doesn’t show results. Finding that information isn’t easy, by design. It might be released, on the same day something else happens. But mostly people aren’t watching the news to the depth required to soak that stuff in, and don’t have the extra energy to soak anything in. Everything sent into our hands and eyes as news is controlled by a few with vested inrests. It would be lovely if there was a place that collected atrocities and kept them fresh. Who stopped buying nestle after all the horrible things they’ve done. I can bet you have supported a company with your dollar, that’s responsible for huge atrocities, it’s almost impossible to avoid. Look at the stuff happening in the Congo atm, all the top brands, committing atrocities for new phones to be built. How much have we heard about all of that? There’s so much. Where do you start. Funny story, I watched resident evil with my kid, just recently, and it was terrifying for whole new reasons. A top company who owns everything, goes into weapon manufacturing and creating advanced bio weapons, accidentally releases it, then doubles down continuously, shutting thousands in to die, and firing into crouds to cover up what it did. And that doesn’t seem far fetched, any more. All for the ever expansion of money, something that has a finite amount set. Literally the only way to achieve ever expansion is to commit atrocities, there’s a point where you take too much and the only option is atrocities to make more. And that’s capitalism, baby!!

It’s still the same problem, though. Your workplace should be acutely aware humans become unwell. And plan sufficiently. I think that guilt is a relied on in any workplace, it’s going to feel very much more dire in yours. I feel for you. In a perfect world, there would be enough staff that staying home sick, wouldn’t matter. They could take previous years data and project how much coverage they need, and employ more (that’s ignoring shortages, but that’s another story to unpack). Or job share with someone, half the work, same amount of pay, holidays and sick days now don’t matter, take them when you want. No workplaces need to be like this, even the shortage of available staff is a fixable thing, it just lowers profit and puts the balance and focus back on enjoyment of life. Money is the root of all evil.

Yeah, like Punching down, when you feel oppressed, you find a target to feel like you are better than, to aim your hatred. Unhappy people who feel trapped, under capitalism, finding a way to see the grass is greener on their side of the fence. Shit way to cope, and understanding it doesn’t mean it’s in any way excusable, only that understanding why, is the first step, if we want to question and turn these people back to the light.