I keep hearing that linux

More like

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ignal

Doug’s gonna last about nine seconds.

That would be his character, Professor Nathaniel Burke of the University of Farmers. We don’t know how much of a badass Prof Burke is, but we do know how much of a badass Simmons is.

“I’m a patriot!”

Okay so, 1) I wasn’t questioning your patriotism until you said that. And 2) with zero exceptions, everyone I’ve ever heard say that turned out to be a Christian nationalist.

“Satan! Baby I am so hard right now!”

You’re damn right I do. Now go make yourself a nice meal and reevaluate your choices.

I will address the subtext of your post, which is this: You are choosing to be defensive and blame a third party for the poor quality of your discourse, when you could choose to put that energy into improving your content. You’re the guy at the party who shits in the punch bowl and blames the host for putting it there. You’re that Life In Hell comic where the kids are standing over their spilled drinks saying “Society did it.”

I say this with a loving, brotherly hand on your shoulder: You might have a personality disorder

You know what you want? You want Usenet. It’s still around and still chock full of unmoderated communities. Go there and post your bullshit to your hearts content. Please. Go. Like, immediately.

Media player giving off Winamp vibes.

Username…checks, uh, out?

Works out to about .56 Taylor Swifts.

You guys must have a surgeon on a retainer.

Oh yes! Finally someone other than me!

Dude I just got the DeWalt DCED400B and lemme tell ya, I have never had a smoother edging experience. The edges of my walk and driveway look like they were done by a professional. There’s just nothing more satisfying.

Listen, as a fellow edger, I don’t mind telling you that I sometimes take it out and do a little during the winter too. People think I’m weird, but it helps me get a head start on that first spring lawn cleanup.

You gotta tell me about your gear!

Give me a ping, Vasili. One ping only.

My dad’s not a phone!

This also works on me.

They say that the eyes are the windows to the tits.

Gēs